


Age Is Just A Number (When Time Is Insensitive)

by FrisianWanderer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Age Of Adaline, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Edible Body Paint, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Fluff, Multi, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-07-25 12:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrisianWanderer/pseuds/FrisianWanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immortality is a curse Clarke couldn’t escape from and not aging has taken a lot from her, but when she meets Bellamy Blake when she’s 89, she’s kind of happy she’s frozen as a 26 year old. </p><p>A Bellarke fic inspired by Age of Adaline with Princess Mechanic, a Dr. Bellamy Bradbury Blake and a twist or two.<br/>-</p><p>Part 2 contains the conversation, some edible body paint, and a whole lot of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like, sorry for any mistakes! :)
> 
> (Nervously sweating, but here we go)
> 
> [an aesthetic if you're into that](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/post/150979863132/age-is-just-a-number-when-time-is) :)

Clarke Elizabeth Griffin was born during a thunderstorm in the year 1926, making proud parents of Jacob and Abigail Griffin. The nurse wrapped Clarke in a pink blanket and laid her in her mother’s arms, and even though the storm outside threatened to clean the world of mankind, and both Abby and Jake were exhausted, the parents of the new-born did nothing but smile.

Clarke grew up in a loving home with wealthy parents and a nice beagle named Daisy, who passed away when she was 14. A year before Clarke lost her father. Losing her dad had almost destroyed Clarke, and it would have, if it hadn’t been for her best friend, Wells Jaha.

Wells had been the boy next door and her best friend since kindergarten and after Clarke turned 22, he became her husband. After losing her father, Wells had become her rock, the light in her life and he’d taught her that it was okay to be broken; because that’s how the light could pour through.

Clarke could never see herself marry someone else and when Wells asked her to marry him the night after her graduation from nursing school, they were the happiest couple in the world after she accepted his proposal.

They wed three months later and soon after getting married, Clarke found out she was expecting. Wells’ parents were, just like Abby was, ecstatic to learn they were going to be grandparents. Wells had been an absolute dream during Clarke’s pregnancy; he gave her foot rubs, made her feel comfortable and made sure Clarke felt absolutely beautiful while she was carrying their first child.

Their son, Jacob Theo Jaha, was born on a warm summer morning in July when the sky was a clear blue and the birds were singing a cheerful song – very unlike Clarke’s first day on earth, her mother told her. Jacob looked just like his father, with his dark complexion and his pecan brown eyes, but he had his mother’s nose and a couple of years after his birth Clarke learned that Jacob also shared her artistic abilities.

Wells never learned about Jacob’s talents, because when his son when was one year old, Wells got stabbed on his way from work and he bled out on the street.

They never caught his killer.  

Clarke was all alone again and this time she didn’t have Wells to pull her out of her grief, but she did have her son and Clarke thanked the Lord every day for that miracle.

Clarke went back to work and Abby moved in with them to help her daughter raise Jacob. It was a very hard time for Clarke; her days were long and dark, but the adorableness that was her son made it all worth it.

When Jacob was three years old things were better. Abby was seeing someone and Clarke was enjoying life as a working mother. She still missed Wells with every breath she took, but Jacob was like a mini-version of her late husband; Jacob had Wells kindness, brilliance and smile, and seeing her best friend live on in her son, healed her slowly, but steady.

All was going well, until a night in 1952. Clarke was on her way to work a nightshift at the hospital when something happened that would forever change the life she called her own.

In a way, it was poetic, that her life ended on a day similar to the one she was born on. It was late at night and it was dark; the moon and all of the stars were hidden behind clouds that unleashed a vicious storm. Clarke could barely see ten feet in front of her and the wheels of her car were slipping over the dirt road.

Clarke didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly the breaks of her car weren’t doing their job anymore and the car was falling off the bridge and into the cold water. Clarke hit her head on the steering wheel, while water as cold as ice seeped through the cracks of her car.

‘Please Lord, don’t let me die..’ Clarke whispered while she frantically tried to unbuckle her seatbelt. ‘Please don’t let my son grow up an orphan’ she begged while she tried to break the car window. Water came crushing in and took Clarke’s place in the car after she made her escape. It was a miracle, but Clarke got out of the death-trap, and she swam and swam; thoughts of Jacob keeping her going and warm in the ice cold lake.

She’d just reached the surface of the lake, her begging lungs filling with much needed air, when a blue thunderbolt came crashing down from the heavens and electrified the lake.

Darkness pulled her under.

*

It must’ve been Wells, or her father, who’d asked for a favour up in heaven, because Clarke woke up.

But surviving the accident came with a price; Clarke never aged again after she regained consciousness in that hospital bed. She also never managed to get very warm again.

It took Abby and Clarke a while to notice. Jacob turned ten when Clarke was 32 and Abby joked that she hoped Clarke’s good genes came from her side of the family. Clarke still looked like a 26 year old.

As she was approaching her forties, when Jacob was 15, Clarke still looked like she was in her twenties.

Clarke heard the whispers on Abby’s funeral how she looked more like Jacob’s sister than his mother, but decided to let gossip be gossip. It was when a strange man followed her home and a flower van appeared on the other side of the street (and still didn’t seem interested in leaving after a week or so), that she decided to move away. Jacob and Clarke moved to New York and two years later, when Jacob was officially an Art History student at Colombia, Clarke moved to Paris.

Jacob had found a sketchy lawyer that had some questionable ways in retrieving Clarke a new passport and identity, but he knew how to do his job. It broke Clarke’s heart to move away and leave her son, but Clarke and Jacob both knew she didn’t have another option. People were noticing Clarke’s youthful look and started asking questions she couldn’t answer.

A few days later Clarke transferred the money to the lawyer’s account and after a month in Paris, Clarke Elizabeth Griffin was officially deceased and Eleanor Amalia Johnson took her place.

According to her new passport Clarke was 18, so she could use her new identity until she was at least 30. With the right clothes, haircut and make-up she could look close to both those ages.

Eleanor served her purpose for twelve years, before Clarke needed a new identity. Those twelve years were mostly spend in Paris, where Clarke studied Art History, just like Jacob was doing in New York; it was her passion, just like it was his, and it made her feel closer to her son. She worked in a small museum for a few years after that, before packing her bags and moving to Brussels.

Clarke was happy as Eleanor, but lonely. She had nice friends, even had a fling or two, and a cute cat to keep her company in her apartment, but she missed the country she called her own and she missed her son. She wrote Jacob often and made sure to travel to the States in July, so they could celebrate his birthday, and in December, so they could have a fake Christmas dinner and celebrate New Year’s early, but Jacob was growing from a boy into a man and she couldn’t witness it.

Jacob became a professor, a successful painter and a husband to a sweet girl named Harper McIntyre in Eleanor’s twelve years, but Clarke had to watch it from the side-lines because she was _frozen_.

She couldn’t even attend the wedding of her only son, because everyone thought Clarke was dead.

In 1978 Clarke was 52 and she moved back to the U.S.

Jacob had gotten her a new identity and Clarke moved to a beach town in Florida. After years of living in cities, Clarke longed for the ocean, so that’s where Catherine Stella Maddox moved to after some criminal forged some papers and declared Eleanor Amalia Johnson dead.

Clarke didn’t want to be 18 again, so she’d requested Catherine to be 22 – being 18 twice in her life was enough for Clarke and she didn’t really look like a teenager anyway.

Clarke got a job at a diner, where she met someone that took all of the loneliness of the previous decade away and made her happy in a way she hadn’t been since Wells. Clarke had forgotten how it felt when your heart skipped a beat when that certain someone walked into the room; she had forgotten how it was to be hungry because you forgot to eat again, because your mind was consumed with thoughts about their eyes and smile; Clarke had forgotten what it felt like when your skin was on fire when you touched them – but Raven Reyes reminded her.

Raven was a gorgeous Latina with a brilliant mind who was studying to become an engineer. She still lived with her uncle and drove to campus every day to follow her classes, and four nights a week and in the weekends she helped Clarke in the diner. Raven was a sarcastic spitfire who radiated _life_ and Clarke was head over heels before she realised what was going on in her heart.

If Clarke had known _why_ she came to life around her friend, she would’ve quit her job and left as soon as possible, but suddenly Raven was kissing her on their weekly night off and Clarke kissed her back before she remembered why exactly it was a bad idea. 

Raven made Clarke so happy and Clarke allowed herself to be selfish; she hadn’t made a connection so true and deep since realising she didn’t age anymore.

Clarke had two nights a week off. On Tuesdays she used her free time to paint, on Thursdays Raven was a free woman as well, and they spend those rare hours together. At first, they spend said nights drinking with colleagues, but after they kissed, that one night a week was spend together.

They went on dates; they saw movies, drank one milkshake with two straws, made walks on the beach and more – always holding the other’s hand.

It was one of those nights that Clarke would cherish forever, and she learned decades later, Raven would too.

The two of them were sitting on the beach, enjoying a comfortable silence, only broken by the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the sounds of the seagulls in the sky. Raven was watching the sunset and Clarke was lying on her back, watching Raven, her girlfriend. A familiar wave of guilt settled inside of Clarke when Raven looked over and gave her a blinding smile.

Clarke could never give Raven what the girl truly deserved: a future. Someone to keep her warm and happy until her last day, someone to love her in their joined lives, someone _to grow old with_..

Someone who was honest, and Clarke had lied to Raven an infinite amount of times. She never told Raven her secret, or about Wells, or Jacob. Or that she’d lived in Europe for twelve years as Eleanor Amalia Johnson. Clarke never told Raven she had a nursing degree and an Art History one.

Raven didn’t even know her real name. She knew Clarke as Cathie, a waitress that was an aspiring artist.

‘The setting sun really is one of my favourite things’ Clarke whispered, to break her train of thought.

Raven laughed. ‘Than why are you looking at me?’

‘Because you’re my favourite’

Raven blushed and ducked her head to hide a grin. ‘You sap’

‘Fine then, I’ll take it back’ Clarke smiled, despite her earlier thoughts.

Raven rolled over so she could lay on top of Clarke. The brunette stared into Clarke’s eyes and the intense look in her girlfriend’s eyes took Clarke’s breath away. ‘No take backs’ Raven whispered before she took Clarke’s lips in hers. Clarke moaned when their lips touched and she eagerly responded. A little of Clarke’s guilt disappeared, but only a little, when she stroked Raven’s tongue with her own.

Clarke may have lied a lot to Raven, but this never was a lie. She loved Raven with her entire heart and Clarke knew she couldn’t give her a future, but she could give the girl her heart and her now. So that was what Raven got from her.

‘I love you’ Clarke breathed against Raven’s lips.

Raven smiled so brightly after hearing the words that Clarke forgot where she was for a moment. ‘I love you too’ Raven replied and she gave Clarke another kiss, but before Clarke could deepen it, Raven retreated her lips. ‘I have something for you’ Raven smiled and she made Clarke sit up. Raven retrieved a small box out of her red bomber jacket and gave it to Clarke.

Clarke unwrapped the white bow and took the lid off. Inside, on a white cushion, was a silver bracelet with a tiny bird. ‘Raven..’ Clarke breathed, surprised.

‘So everyone will know you’re mine. Happy anniversary, babe’

Clarke held up her wrist so Raven could put the bracelet on her wrist. ‘It’s beautiful, thank you honey’ Clarke said with tears in her eyes. ‘I have something for you too, but it’s at my place’

Raven smirked. ‘Is it sexy lingerie you’re wearing? Is it an orgasm?’

Clarke laughed. ‘That’s waiting for you too, but your present is something else’

When they got to Clarke’s place, Clarke gave Raven her anniversary present; the painting she made of their beach with the setting sun. Raven loved it, and Clarke loved her and she hoped Raven would always remember that she’d been loved in the time they spend together.

Then Raven kissed her, and the feeling of Raven’s body pressed against hers and the cotton sheets against her naked form, made thinking about anything but her girlfriend impossible.

*

‘I’m really glad you’re back’ Raven said when they were walking down the pier, hand-in-hand.

‘Was Roan driving you out of your mind again?’ Clarke joked.

‘Yes, he really is our most obnoxious customer. Someone needs to take that idiot down a notch or five hundred’ Raven grumbled. ‘But, seriously. I missed you’ Raven brought Clarke’s cold hand to her lips and softly kissed her knuckles. Clarke’s stomach jumped at the touch, and the feeling made her smile. ‘How was your weekend with your cousin?’

Clarke had just gotten back from a weekend in the City, where she’d visited Jacob for his birthday. Her son was now 33 years old and had made Clarke a grandmother a few weeks ago. Jacob and Harper had gotten a daughter named Abigail Elizabeth and she was the cutest little girl Clarke had ever seen.

On Friday Jacob and Clarke had strolled through the city and had dinner together and on Saturday they had brunch with Harper and Abigail at their place. Harper thought Clarke was Jacob’s cousin from France, who couldn’t made it to their wedding a couple of years before. Clarke had the time of her life with her son and his family and she learned that saying goodbye to Jacob never got easier. Jacob gave her some polaroid pictures that he’d taken of her with Abigail, and Clarke had kept them against her better judgement.

‘Amazing, the absolute best’ Clarke grinned. ‘He and his wife just had a baby girl, and she’s so precious Raven, so precious. I have some pictures to prove to you she’s the most adorable baby ever’

‘For someone who hates being in pictures, you sure love them’ Raven teased.

‘When I’m not in them, yes’ Clarke replied, and Raven rolled her eyes. Clarke knew the risk of her being in photographs; she was forever and pictures were too, so she always told people she didn’t like being photographed. Raven had asked her numerous times if Clarke would make an exception for her, but Clarke could never grant her that wish. No one should ever have proof of Clarke’s immortality.

Raven squeezed her hand and made them come to a stop. ‘I know you hate being in pictures, but you shouldn’t, babe. You are so gorgeous Cathie, inside and out, and I love you and I love that you’re mine’

‘I love you too, Rae’ she gave her girlfriend a peck on the lips.

‘Prove it’ Raven challenged her with a mischievous glint in her eyes. ‘Prove how much you love me by doing something for me you hate. Let’s take a picture together’

‘Rae—‘

‘Please’ Raven whispered softly. ‘It would mean a lot to me’ The wind softly played with Raven’s hair and her face got framed by her loose brown locks. They accentuated the soft, pleading look in Raven’s eyes that replaced the playful glint from a moment ago. That vulnerable look was all it took for Clarke’s treacherous heart to concede. She just loved the girl too much.

‘Okay’ she sighed and Raven actually jumped into the air out of excitement and joy, before she dragged Clarke off to a nearby photo booth. 

‘So this thing takes five pictures, so we’re going to do a crazy one, a funny one, a happy one, one where we kiss and another happy one’ Raven said elated and her excitement made Clarke laugh.

‘You got this all planned out didn’t you?’ Clarke teased.

‘A girl can dream, can’t she?’

Clarke smiled. ‘Let’s get this over with’

The one where Clarke got to kiss Raven was her favourite.

*

It happened after Raven mentioned marriage.

They were talking about solar panels and the future of the environment, what turned into Raven starting about their future together, what led the girl to commenting on them getting married someday.

‘No’ Clarke whispered.

‘Obviously not _now_ , but—‘

‘No, not ever’ Clarke interrupted her.

Raven waited a beat. ‘Are you serious?’

‘..Yes’

Raven was silent again and Clarke could see the shock, anger and pain flash through her eyes. ‘Where is this coming from?!’ she demanded.

‘I-‘

‘Since when do you feel like this?’ she kept going. ‘ _Why_?!’

‘Because I don’t want to get married to you’ Clarke lied. She would’ve married Raven in a heartbeat if things were different, but they _weren’t_.

‘What?’ Raven let out a sob. ‘Why are you doing this to me? _How_ can you do this to me?!’

‘It’s not you, it’s—‘

‘Don’t give me that bullshit!’ Raven yelled and her eyes were fuming with anger. ‘You just said you didn’t want to get married to _me_!’ 

‘I don’t ever want to get married to anyone’ Clarke said, a wave of panic going through her. She wanted to explain, without telling the truth. And she needed to breakup with Raven, now, and she wanted to do that without hurting Raven as much as possible. She’d let her heart make the decisions for her for the last four years, and that had been foolish. This had been going on for too long now and Clarke needed to pull out the plug on their relationship; the longer she’d wait, the more it would hurt them both.

‘Than we’ll just never get married!’ Raven said, close to being hysterical. Raven closed the distance between herself and Clarke and laid her hands on Clarke’s arms. Raven’s eyes were wild and her lips were trembling. ‘Than we’ll just never get married’ Raven repeated, softer now, and the hopeful look in her brown eyes was killing Clarke.

‘I—‘ Clarke started. ‘I got accepted into a university in Sweden. I’m leaving next month’ it was a lie that Clarke had made up when she knew she needed a reason to breakup with Raven. Raven could never come with her to the other side of the world, she was getting her PhD in Florida, and Clarke leaving for a degree would be the only reasonable explanation as to why she’d leave her girlfriend.

‘What?’ Raven whispered and her hands dropped to her side. Raven’s gaze fell to the floor and she covered her mouth with one of her hands. ‘I think I’m going to be sick..’

‘I’m _so_ sorry..’ Clarke tried, tears already streaming down her face.

‘Oh my God’ Raven repeated over and over, stuck in a trance, while she sat down on Clarke’s couch.

‘I’m so sorry..’ Clarke said again from her place a couple of feet away from Raven.

‘Why?’ Raven cried. ‘Is it me?’

‘No!’ Clarke objected. ‘Absolutely not! You’re the only reason I stayed in this town for four years. And I don’t want to leave, but I have to. This is the chance of a lifetime, so I have to take it’

‘What if _I’m_ the chance of a lifetime?!’ Raven cried, but she stubbornly wiped the tears off her cheeks and glared at Clarke.

Clarke shrugged. ‘You are, Raven. You absolutely are. But, just.. not for me’ she lied. ‘But you will be for someone else’

Raven stared at Clarke with all the anger in the world displayed in her eyes. But next to the anger there was something more awful; heartbreak. Clarke did her best not to drop to her knees and beg for forgiveness. To not tell Raven her secrets and beg to take her back. Her knees were trembling, but Clarke kept them in place.

Clarke took a breath to give herself the courage to deliver the end. ‘I love you, but not enough’

That’s what did the job; that’s what killed what they had. Raven jumped up from the couch, her body shaking with anger and unshed tears. ‘I fucking _hate_ you and I never want to see you again!’ Raven bolted out of Clarke’s apartment and slammed the door behind her.

Clarke broke down crying on her couch and she didn’t stop crying for almost a year. She prayed to God for forgiveness and asked him to be with Raven and give her everything she deserved and more. Happiness, love, a family, a successful career. Clarke prayed for Raven to get everything Clarke once had and could never have again.

Catherine Stella Maddox never saw Raven again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had learned from her mistake with Raven and lived as a nomad for the next decade or so, only going back to New York twice a year to see her son, but never longer than a week at a time. Jacob got two more girls with Harper, Madison and Florence, two grandchildren Clarke never got to meet, while she travelled through South America.

Time passed by, everything changed, but Clarke didn’t.

In 1994 Clarke was tired of moving around and moved to Sweden, like she once told Raven she would. She learned to speak Swedish fluently, lived and worked in different cities, before going back to Paris for two years where she worked at a bakery. Clarke saw the world, met interesting people, had a couple of pets, but longed for something she once had with Raven.

It was 2008 when Clarke moved to London, again to attend a nursing school; healing was in her history and in her blood and she missed it. Jacob was now 59 years old, so she asked him to get her a passport that would last at least a decade. She told her son she wanted to be called Clarke Daisy Griffin on her new papers (Jacob disagreed strongly and loudly) and she confided in him that it would be her last one. Her admission upset him greatly, but Clarke had lived for 82 years and she was tired. Most of those years she’d spend alone, moving from place to place, lonely and homesick. The four years with Raven had been the only exception.

Clarke wanted to spend her last twelve years being called by her real name, and in a moment of weakness, she’d honoured her first pet by using the beagle’s name as her second one.

Jacob begged her to change her mind, but Clarke was a stubborn woman; it was the least pleasant phone call they ever had.

After graduating in London (Clarke had lost count of how many diplomas she now had), she fulfilled her promise to Jacob and moved to New York, so they could spend her last eight years together.

The first two years in New York were great; she loved her job at the hospital, it was great being back in the city she once called her own, and she finally saw Jacob regularly again. They even got to spend Mother’s Day together, something they hadn’t done a single time in the last fifty years.

But after those two great years, the hospital hired a new doctor, and he made Clarke’s work ten times more difficult than was necessary. Dr. Blake even seemed to do it on purpose to get a rise out of her; at least that was what she suspected. Clarke was raised as a lady, and she always tried to behave as one, so she’d never uttered the word, but Dr. Blake was an absolute _asshole_.

‘What did he do this time?’ Jasper Jordan, one of the fellow nurses, asked her when she used him to vent.

‘He completely ignored my diagnosis with one of the patients, ordered an entirely unnecessary biopsy to prove me wrong and when the biopsy proved _me_ _right_ , he insulted my hair and scrubs instead of just admitting he made a mistake’ Clarke groaned. ‘And then an hour later he blamed me for misplacing a chart after telling me about some band he wanted to see. _And_ he keeps calling me _princess_! That man just gets in my hair, _every damn time_ he opens his mouth’

‘He _likes_ you. Like, like-likes you’ Jasper said, completely ignoring Clarke’s passionate rant, with an excited grin. For a second, Jasper reminded Clarke of an excited puppy. Probably a golden retriever.

‘What? No, he doesn’t’ she scowled. ‘He doesn’t like anything or anyone. The only exception being his own mirror reflection’ she gagged for good measure. ‘Insufferable man’

Jasper rolled his eyes, but his grin stayed intact. ‘He’s not that bad. If you got to know him better you’d probably like him’

‘Well, I don’t think I can like him any _less_ , but I’m not willing to find out, so..’

‘That’s why you’re staring at his ass every time he walks away from you’ Jasper smirked amused.

Clarke gasped loudly and felt her cheeks heat up. ‘ _What_?! No, I don’t— That’s not—‘ she stumbled through her words. ‘absolutely ridiculous! It’s absolutely ridiculous and very untrue!’ she said loudly.

Jasper snickered and Clarke asked him kindly to shut up.

‘What did I miss?’ Monty Green, another nurse, asked, when he walked into their breakroom, immediately making a beeline to the coffee machine.

‘Nothing’ Clarke tried, but Jasper didn’t let her get away. Not that there was anything to get away with.

‘I was just pointing out Clarke’s fascination with Dr. Blake’s ass’ Jasper said cheerfully.

‘Oh yeah, I noticed that too’ Monty commented, gaining a very shocked ‘Monty!’ from Clarke.

Monty smiled at her, and asked the two of them if they were planning on going to the hospital’s Christmas party.

‘Absolutely!’ Jasper said excited. ‘I finally grew the balls to ask Maya and she agreed to be my date to the stupid charade’

‘Dr. Vie said yes? That’s great Jasper!’ Clarke smiled and she made her friend give her a high five. Her excitement for Jasper quickly turned into annoyance when Dr. Blake walked in. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, her voice betraying her irritation.

‘There’s no one in our breakroom, so I thought I’d spend my break in this one’ he answered with a smirk. ‘There’s always bound to be someone here, since all of you nurses are taking breaks all the time’ he winked.

Clarke glared at him and threw an apple from the fruit bowl at his chest.

‘Thanks’ he said amused, when he easily caught the piece of fruit, and took a bite out of the apple.

‘Well, I hoped it would have the same effect as garlic has with vampires. After all, they do say _“An apple a day makes the doctor go away”_ ’ Clarke huffed in mock-disappointment.

Bellamy laughed. ‘Yeah, that doesn’t work’

‘Well, maybe your just a crappy, phoney doctor’ her voice sounded hopeful.

Bellamy snorted. ‘Please, I’m the best goddamn doctor in this place. Probably the city’

‘No, that title belongs to me’ Dr. Vie said when she walked in. Her eyes landed on Jasper and her grin softened into a sweet smile. ‘Hi, Jasper’

‘Hey Maya’ Jasper smiled, just as sugary sweet, and Clarke couldn’t help but bite back her grin.

In her 84 years on the planet Clarke had seen a lot of people fall in love with each other and she recognised the tell-tales of Jasper and Maya’s blooming romance. It was going to be one hell of a love.

‘She’s right though’ Clarke said before she finished her coffee. ‘She’s definitely the best doctor in this place. Probably the city’ she smirked at Bellamy and he send her a scowl, one that was lacking heat, as she got up to leave for her next rounds.

*

Her shift ended at eleven and when the elevator doors closed in front of her, a hand slipped into the closing doors, effectively re-opening them.

‘Dr. Blake’ Clarke stated when he walked in, but it sounded more like a question.

He rolled his eyes at her. ‘We’re both off the clock; you can call me Bellamy’ his deep voice filled the air surrounding them and Clarke suppressed a shiver.

‘Fine, but you still have to call me Nurse Griffin’

‘But I like Clarke better’ it didn’t come out as a whine or as a plea; it sounded like a compliment. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him smiling at her, and this time it wasn’t Bellamy who rolled his eyes.

‘Only my family and friends have the privilege to call me that’ she said, her voice betraying her amusement. ‘You’re neither’

Bellamy turned sideways so he could look at her profile without craning his neck any longer. He reminded Clarke of sunflowers. Just like the sunflower turned to the sun to catch rays of sunshine, he turned his body around to fully take her in. But she could never be his sun, and the thought saddened her.

‘But we could be if you gave me a chance. Remember that band I told you about?’ he asked, before she could politely decline his offer for friendship or something more. ‘A friend of mine is the lead guitar player and they’re performing tonight? Want to check them out with me?’

‘Bellamy—‘

‘I promise you they’re good’ he interrupted her, picking up on her hesitation. Bellamy smiled at her, a genuine smile, one that pulled on her heartstrings. ‘And I’ll pay for your drinks’ he added, sounding and looking a little too hopeful for her liking.

‘I—‘ _Ding!_ The elevator announced their arrival at the main floor and Clarke was relieved that she could finally leave the tiny space. There was always something funny happening in her brain when she was near Bellamy for longer than three minutes, and she couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes when she had to shoot his offer down. ‘I can’t. I’ll see you at work on Wednesday’ she quickly made her exit and walked into the hospital’s main hall.

She didn’t hear Bellamy follow her out of the elevator, so she knew he hadn’t.

*

‘Clarke, the patient in room 241 requested you to be her nurse’ Roma said, as she handed Clarke the patient’s chart.

‘ _Requested_ me?’ Clarke asked, a little confused. ‘Since when do we let patients decide who they get treated by?’

‘They don’t, but this one is special’ Roma winked, and Clarke’s curiosity grew.

‘So you’re Clarke Griffin’ the patient in room 241 stated when Clarke entered the room.

‘I am’ she answered the dark-haired girl, who was absolutely gorgeous with her piercing green eyes and her strong jawline. The girl seemed to be the embodiment of passion and fire, even if she was lying in a hospital bed. ‘And you are-‘ Clarke said as she opened the chart and searched for the girl’s name. ‘Octavia Jasmine Blake’ Clarke read out loud, and her blue eyes shot to Octavia’s green ones. ‘Dr. Blake’s sister?’

Octavia grinned like the Cheshire cat. ‘Yup’ she answered, popping the p.

Clarke eyes darted over the papers in her hands. ‘And you’re here because of an appendicitis. Is that why Dr. Blake suddenly took a week off?’

‘I’m sure he doesn’t mind you calling him Bellamy. Or even _Bell_ ’ Octavia grinned. ‘But yes; completely unnecessary in my opinion, but he never was a good listener’

 _Wow._ Clarke couldn’t help but feel admiration for Bellamy taking seven sick days to help out his sister. That was quite noble of him. Noble, and very sweet. ‘That was kind of him’ she commented.

‘He talks about you a lot, you know’ Octavia said, ignoring Clarke’s comment.

Clarke couldn’t help the groan that escaped her. ‘I can only imagine the things he told you about me..’ she suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.

‘He told me you’re very intelligent, hardworking, kind and that you’re one of the few in this place who won’t let him get away with his crap’ Octavia smirked and Clarke started to feel even more uncomfortable. ‘And that you’re hot; and now that I can vow that he was right about that, I know he was right about the rest too’

‘Well don’t tell him that. Your brother’s ego would only grow more and I don’t think the hospital’s big enough to house more of his arrogance’ Clarke joked and Octavia laughed loudly in response.

‘I can see why my brother likes you so much. I’ve only known you for five minutes and even I can tell that we’re going to be great friends’ Octavia grinned, excited. ‘Why did you reject my brother the other day?’ she asked bluntly and it took Clarke by surprise. Apparently Octavia Blake wasn’t one to beat around the bush.  

‘I don’t believe that to be any of your business, Ms. Blake’

‘Don’t you like him?’ Octavia pressed.

‘No’

‘I’m a cop, you know. I’m trained to see when someone’s lying’ Octavia shared, a little smug. ‘Your face and body language are betraying you’

Clarke could feel her cheeks heat up. _Dammit.._

‘My brother’s a good guy. I mean, yes, he’s arrogant and an asshole, but he’s the good kind of asshole. Like, he’s way too overprotective, but that’s just him showing he cares. And he might come off as a know-it-all, but that’s just because he’s a huge nerd. He’s a big softie, actually’ Octavia rambled and she continued, not giving Clarke the chance to interrupt. ‘And he probably insulted you a million times, but that’s just because he’s too awkward to know how to behave around a pretty girl that’s not related to him’

‘Really? I found him to be quite smooth with the rest of the female staff’ Clarke said feeling annoyed, but feigning amusement.

Octavia gagged and held her hand in the air. ‘TMI, Nurse Griffin, _please_ ’ she begged, and Clarke chuckled. ‘My boyfriend’s band is playing every other Friday in this bar called Grounders’ Octavia continued. ‘You should check them out sometime with us. I’d like to get to first name basis with you’

‘I’ll think about it’ Clarke smiled.

‘Monty and Jasper will be there too, Bellamy said you get along great with them’

‘You know Monty and Jasper?’ Clarke asked, surprised.

‘Yeah, we went to high school together’ Octavia yawned.

Clarke took Octavia yawning as an opportunity to drop the subject. ‘You should get some rest, you just got out of surgery’ she advised the girl.

‘I will if you come to Lincoln’s show next week’ Octavia said, and Clarke learned that the stubbornness in Bellamy was a family trade.

‘I’ll give it some thought. Sweet dreams Ms. Blake’ Clarke tried to give her a smile, but she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She envied the bond the Blake siblings shared; it was obvious to Clarke that both Octavia and Bellamy would go through hell and back for the other. It saddened Clarke that she never had a sibling and that she could never really get close to either one of the Blake’s. Octavia really seemed like a great girl, and even though Clarke loved complaining about Bellamy, she couldn’t deny the pull she felt towards him. She couldn’t deny the effect his smile had on her or the chemistry they shared. But whatever they could become, they were doomed from the start.

The universe had taken a lot from Clarke when it had brought her back to life.

*

Clarke and Jacob had lunch every Tuesday, so Jacob was very up to date on his mother’s cat, Calliope, and her colleagues; especially Dr. Blake. 

Jacob always smiled a knowing smile when Clarke spoke about Bellamy, and Clarke always tried her best to ignore that smile.

Clarke knew that Jacob was hoping she’d start something with Bellamy, in the hope it would change her mind about her twelve year plan; even if there were still five left. They still disagreed about her way of thinking and Jacob was trying to add a few more years by making her befriend her colleagues. By enjoying her life to the fullest.

Clarke knew she had the sweetest son, but Jacob didn’t (want to) understand that befriending her colleagues would make it even more painful for Clarke to say goodbye to them eventually. And after a lifetime filled with goodbyes, Clarke was kind of over that.

‘But don’t you want to be in love again?’ Jacob had pressed. ‘Have someone to come home to?’

‘Jacob, dear, there is no love without growing old together; only painful goodbyes’ Clarke replied. ‘I can’t go through that again and no one deserves that type of cruelty from me. I was selfish once, with Raven, and it ended in misery for us both’

‘I just want you to be happy mom’

Clarke smiled. ‘You remind me so much of your father. You have his eyes, and his kindness and love live on in you’ she gently squeezed her son’s hand. ‘I’m so proud of you Jacob. And I _am_ happy’ she hastily added. ‘I have you, and my job and Calliope’

‘No, you’re satisfied’ Jacob sighed. ‘Those are two very different things’

‘Honey, please—‘

‘Just go to that bar with your colleagues’ her son had interrupted her. ‘Have a drink and enjoy yourself. You won’t hurt anyone if you have some plain old fun. Do it for me, _please_ ’ he pleaded when he saw that his mother was going to object.

And that’s how Clarke found herself at “Grounders” the next Friday to check out Octavia’s boyfriend’s band – she could never deny her son the simplest of requests.

‘Clarke you made it!’ Octavia said excitedly when Clarke entered the dark and crowded bar. Octavia was sitting at a table with Monty, Jasper, a guy with a beanie and Bellamy. Coincidentally (but Clarke doubted it) the only empty chair left was the one next to Bellamy.

‘You look great’ Bellamy complimented her when she sat down and had taken off her coat, revealing the floral cardigan she was wearing. ‘I already got you a beer, I hope that’s fine. I don’t know if you like them, but I thought it would be the safe choice. If you don’t, it’s fine, I’m sure Miller wouldn’t mind taking it off your hands’ Bellamy rambled, clearly nervous, and it was _adorable_.

‘Miller would’ the guy with the beanie said, and Clarke smiled at him, before turning back to Bellamy.

She took a moment to enjoy the sight of his eyes; they were a beautiful, warm brown colour, highlighting the flecks of gold around his pupils. ‘Beers are great, thank you’ she smiled at him, and Bellamy seemed to release a nervous breath of air.

Clarke really did have a great time, especially with Bellamy. They discussed Fleetwood Mac and the perfect way to make a hot Cocoa, before Miller joined them in their conversation about Shakespeare. Octavia called them all nerds, before she dragged Jasper, Monty and Miller off to play darts.

‘That was very subtle’ Clarke said sarcastically, but she was smiling and Bellamy laughed.

‘You’ll be the first one to ever call O subtle’ he said, before asking her if she had any siblings.

Clarke lied, and told Bellamy she had a sister back in Sweden, called Elizabeth. They talked about Europe for a while and Bellamy shared he’d never been to the continent, but he hoped he would someday.

‘If you ever get the chance, you definitely should’ Clarke advised after taking a gulp of her vodka tonic. ‘You’d definitely enjoy all the museums and architecture’

‘Don’t forget the food’ Bellamy smiled as the band introduced themselves and the rest of Bellamy’s friends re-joined their table.

Octavia whistled loudly as she took her seat and the band started to play. Clarke couldn’t deny that they were a very talented bunch, and she even thought their music was all right, but she still preferred classical music and jazz to the loud sounds that came out of the speakers. She was just too old for this style.

Bellamy chuckled beside her and when she turned around, she already found his eyes trained on her. ‘What?’ she asked innocently.

‘You don’t like them’ Bellamy wasn’t offended or upset, no, he seemed amused.

‘No, I do—‘ Clarke tried.

‘You don’t, and that’s okay’ he grinned.

‘I just—‘ Clarke started. ‘Don’t get me wrong, they’re very talented, but it’s just so—‘ she awkwardly waved with her hands as she tried to come up with the right word, ‘ _loud_ ’

‘Loud?’ Bellamy laughed. ‘Well, no one can deny that’ and it was true, because both Bellamy and Clarke had to raise their voices and lean a little closer to one another to hear the other speaking. Not that she was complaining. ‘Do you want to go?’

Clarke checked her watch and saw that it was 2am. It wasn’t very late, but Clarke had no intentions in clubbing away the night, or whatever it was that young people did nowadays. ‘I probably should. I don’t want to worry my cat’

‘Calliope?’ Bellamy asked and Clarke was surprised he knew that trivial fact about her. ‘I heard you talk about your cat once – it’s kind of hard to forget that a cute girl named her pet after the muse of epic poetry’ he explained sheepishly when he read her surprised look.

‘You know your mythology’ Clarke stated, impressed.

Bellamy blushed. ‘It’s kind of my hobby’ he admitted. ‘History – especially ancient history’

Clarke was surprised, the good kind; she knew Bellamy to be an arrogant and difficult doctor, who knew what he was doing and who was excellent with young patients, but he was more. He was layer after layer, hiding a soft core, that he was too insecure to show people. Clarke wanted to get to know all of those layers and show him _her_ soft core. ‘That’s unexpected’ she finally settled on.

‘Well I’m more than my medical degree and my gorgeous ass’ he grinned and Clarke blushed. _How did he know about her non-fascination with his ass?_

‘If you say so’ she teased.

‘You’re welcome to find out’ Bellamy tried to be smooth, but in his eyes Clarke could see a nervousness, a fear. That she wouldn’t want to, or that she did, but eventually didn’t like what she would find.

If only he knew that it had nothing to do with not wanting to get to know him, but with the simple fact that she couldn’t.

‘Maybe some other time’ she smiled slightly and said goodbye to everyone, while putting on her trench coat. It was one of her favourites; she liked the dark green colour and the timeless look it gave her. She’d bought it in the sixties in New York in a store that unfortunately had to close a decade ago, but it was still considered fashionable.

‘I’ll walk you home’

Clarke wanted to object, tell Bellamy there was no need, but he raised his eyebrow at her in a challenging way and she knew he wasn’t going to take a no for an answer. He didn’t want her to walk those few blocks all by herself at night. ‘Okay’ she relented.

It was cold outside, but Clarke only noticed because of the condense clouds that left their lips, as the two of them discussed the advantages of having a pet. Bellamy’s presence kept her warm and animated, even so much that she didn’t notice the snow that started to fall, until he pointed it out.

‘I love snow in New York’ Bellamy shared and Clarke smiled warmly. ‘It’s one of my favourite things’

‘It’s almost magical’ she agreed, and before she knew it, they’d arrived at her building. ‘This is me’ she said and Bellamy stopped and turned to look her in her eyes.

The moment his brown eyes met her blue ones, something inside of her came alive. It felt like some part of her had been waiting for him, all this time.

Clarke’s heart was beating in her ears and all she could focus on were his eyes. The air was heavy between them and Clarke felt that damn magnetic pull towards him again. His eyes flickered down to her lips, and she _hoped_ he would, but he swallowed heavily and brought his hand to her face to tuck a strain of hair behind her ear. Bellamy stroked her earlobe with his thumb and a blaze of warmth exploded in her ear and went on to warm her entire body, while Goosebumps ran down her arms.

Quite the reaction for one simple touch, so Clarke wanted to know how the touch of his lips on hers would make her feel – or even just the feeling of their intertwined hands. But nothing of the sort happened, when Bellamy retreated his hand and wished her a good night.

‘Yes’ she breathed, still in a trance. ‘Good night, Bellamy’ her voice was a little hoarse and she couldn’t quite convince herself it was because of the drinks she had. Bellamy’s small smile told her he didn’t think so either.

Clarke watched him go for a moment, before she returned back to earth, and let herself into her apartment building.

*

Clarke was filling out one of her patient’s charts, when she got interrupted by Bellamy. It was their first joined shift since the night at the bar two days prior and they hadn’t seen each other since.

‘If I ask you to be my date to the Christmas party, would you accept?’ he asked, and she didn’t even have to look up from her work to know it was him. But she looked up anyway.

‘No, I wouldn’t’ she said and the look of disappointment made her continue quickly. ‘Because I would never go on a first date with someone to a work event. Maybe third. That’s why I advised Jasper to at least take Dr. Vie out once before the Christmas party’

‘Than what if I would ask you to a dinner date first? Would you say yes then?’ Bellamy asked smoothly, but the nervous tapping of his fingers against his thigh betrayed him.

His comment about favourite things when he’d walked her home had reminded Clarke of Raven. She hadn’t seen Raven in 33 years, but had thought about her often. Clarke hoped Raven had had an amazing life and that she was happy.

And that reminded her of Jacob who wanted her to be happy as well – Clarke couldn’t deny that she was happier around Bellamy, even if they were bickering or throwing fruit at each other. Maybe she and Bellamy could just be friends or have a passionate fling. All Clarke knew was that she wanted to be around him.

‘Yes’ she said it out loud before she realised she had.

Bellamy scratched the back of his neck and ducked his head to hide a grin, but when he looked up at her again, his broad smile was still there. ‘Awesome’ he grinned, and his puppy like enthusiasm made Clarke happy she’d accepted.

‘You know you still haven’t officially asked me’ she teased and Bellamy rolled his eyes, before dropping down on one knee. ‘Bellamy!’ she shrieked before frantically looking around at their surroundings to see if anyone was watching his little charade, and some of their colleagues were, to Clarke’s mortification. ‘Get up!’

‘No’ he said firm, but amused. ‘Clarke Griffin, will you do me the honour of going on a dinner date with me?’

‘Yes, fine, okay’ she said urgently. ‘Now get up’

‘You didn’t let me finish’ he grinned and she groaned, afraid of what was coming next. ‘And after that going on another date with me, so you can be my date to do Christmas party?’

Clarke looked at him, lips turning into a smirk. ‘Depends on how the first date goes’

‘Deal’ he agreed smiling, before finally standing up again. ‘I’m looking forward to it, Princess’

She poked his chest with the pen she’d been using. ‘You have to stop calling me that’

‘Never’ he smirked. He pecked her cheek and left her to her work again.

Concentrating was very hard the rest of the day, and the spot he kissed on her cheek buzzed until she fell asleep in her bed that night.

*

‘You made it’ Bellamy smiled brightly and he seemed somewhat relieved when he let her into his apartment. ‘I was afraid you were getting cold feet’ he admitted.

‘No, just trouble getting a cab’ she gave him a sweet smile and that seemed to put him at ease.

‘Can I take your coat?’

‘Yes, please’ she answered and after taking her coat he gave her a tour of his place. It was large, almost three times as large as her shoebox apartment. Bellamy had a nice bedroom with an adjoining bathroom (with a very comfortable looking bathtub), his own study (filled with books of course; she loved it) and an open kitchen. The apartment really was a dream, with its polished wooden floorboard and high ceilings, but it was the view of Manhattan’s skyline that impressed Clarke the most.

Clarke admired the view while Bellamy gave her a glass of red wine, thinking about how much the city had changed in the last five decades.

‘So, what are you making us?’ she asked after taking a sip of her wine.

‘Well, _we’re_ making our own pizza’ he grinned.

‘I see – you’re making me work for my supper’

‘I hope you’re hungry’ he agreed and she followed him to his kitchen where they made their meal together, while laughing and drinking the delicious wine Bellamy had bought.

Bellamy told Clarke about his mother, that she was a cop who died on the job when he was 20 and Octavia 15, and how he and his sister had fought when Octavia had decided to enrol into the Police Academy. He told Clarke how grateful and relieved he was at the end of every day when the paramedics hadn’t brought Octavia in or when he hadn’t received a similar phone call to when his mom had died.

Bellamy continued by telling her he was going to drop out of school when Aurora died, so he could keep a roof over his sister’s head that wasn’t an orphanage, but his godparents didn’t want to hear it and adopted them both.

‘I always knew they were good people, but they proved how truly great they were when they took us in and helped O and I pay for school’ Bellamy told her. ‘First I was too proud to accept their offer, but Octavia told me I was being a ridiculous moron – her words, not mine – if I would reject it. She was right, of course, but it took me a while to get that’

‘You’re godparents sound like amazing people’ Clarke said, genuinely impressed by their kindness. ‘You’re really lucky to have people who care so much about you’

Bellamy nodded and smiled sheepishly. ‘I know. What about you?’

‘Well, there’s not much to tell. My mother died when I was a teenager-‘

‘I’m sorry’ he said, truly seeming sympathetic and a wave of guilt went through Clarke. She was so tired of lying, especially to good people like Bellamy, but telling the truth wasn’t an option.

‘Thank you’ she said softly, before continuing. ‘My dad passed away when I was studying in London, and I have a sister, Elizabeth, in Sweden. And a godfather here in New York, Jacob; I see him almost every week’ 

‘That’s nice’ he smiled.

‘It is’ she agreed. ‘So random question, but I saw some origami in your study-‘

Bellamy laughed. ‘Yes, I made those myself’ answering the question he knew she was going to ask. ‘When I was in medical school, a classmate taught me and I found it to be quite relaxing’

‘Can you teach me?’

‘After dessert’ he promised.

In her eighty-something years on earth, Clarke had never learned how to make an origami swan, even if she considered herself an artist. Bellamy showed her how it was done, and every time his fingers stroked hers, her breath hitched in her throat.

After she asked, Bellamy told her during her origami lesson why he decided to become a paediatrician. Bellamy grew up without a lot of money and he liked to help and take care of people. Especially children. He understood how important good medical care and health insurances were and he wanted to give people the best possible help. The pay check made the decision easier as well, he joked. ‘Why did you decide to go into medicine?’ he asked her when he finished his story.

She was grateful she didn’t have to lie about that one. ‘Science always interested me. Just like the workings of the human body’ she answered. ‘And I like healing people. How’s this?’ she smiled and she held up her swan for him to see.

‘Are you sure you’ve never done this?’ he smiled, impressed. ‘My first swan looked like a balled up piece of paper’

Clarke laughed, but her laughter died in her throat and she could feel herself starting to blush, when his large, warm hand wrapped around her smaller one.

‘Redeem me Clarke; do I get the second date?’

Clarke waited a beat, holding his gaze, before she answered. ‘Ask me again when this one is over’ and then she leaned in over the table and kissed him.

*

Clarke had never felt this complete in her life, when she was lying in Bellamy’s arms, naked. Bellamy’s strong heartbeat was distracting her from the fact that she was in way too deep with him. He was softly stroking her bare shoulder with his fingertips and Clarke was content; she hadn’t been this content since Jacob was born.   

‘I’m curious – when did you start to like me?’ he asked, breaking their comfortable silence.

‘I always liked you’ Clarke admitted in a whisper. ‘I just disliked you more’

Bellamy laughed and the deep sound reverberated in her naked body. ‘And how does that work?’

‘It’s like a TV-show. You like certain parts, but dislike other parts’

‘What parts did you dislike?’ he asked, amused. 

‘You really want me to tell you what I disliked about you? While we’re in bed?’ she pointed out, looking up and still able to find his eyes in the dark. ‘We could do so much more fun stuff’ she kissed away any reply he might’ve had, but she felt like he agreed when he kissed her back.

*

It was hard staying away from Bellamy after their first date and they spend most of their time together when they weren’t at work, either at his place or at hers. Clarke tried to be careful and take things slow, but being with Bellamy came natural to her.

It was like it was meant to be.

Bellamy made Clarke forget about everything and dream about a future she would never have with him. One where she woke up in his arms every day, warm and happy, one where they would become parents together and travel the world with each other when they were old and grey. It was a great dream.

Clarke knew all she could have with Bellamy was a flirtation, but it was hard to only sleep around with him. He really understood her and she missed him when they were apart for more than two days. She especially enjoyed the moments when she found him standing half naked in her kitchen, holding Calliope; he made it even more difficult for her to think rationally than it normally was when he was around her.

He made her happy and Clarke made Bellamy happier too. Monty had noticed as well and Jasper had even told her that Octavia had said so. Not that anyone knew it was because of her, because Bellamy and Clarke were keeping their new romance to themselves, but their friends and colleagues were probably suspecting it.

Everyone was proven right when she showed up, in a short-sleeved midnight blue dress, to the hospital’s Christmas Party as his date. Clarke had to endure Jasper’s merciless teasing all night, but Bellamy made it all worth it when he told her how beautiful she looked.

New Year’s Eve came around and he kissed her at Time Square under the fireworks that celebrated the arrival of 2016. ‘Happy new year, Princess’ he whispered against her lips.

‘Want to celebrate the rest of New Year’s Eve in my apartment?’ she asked, and he was already pulling her through the crowd before she finished her sentence, making her laugh a joyful laugh.

January seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. The Friday nights were spend in the bar with Bellamy’s friends and the rest of their free time was spend in one of their apartments reading, baking and doing origami – if they could disentangle themselves from each other.

Clarke learned from Octavia, much to Bellamy’s dismay, that his second name was Bradbury and Clarke had laughed until she needed to pee – not because of the name in itself, but because of Bellamy’s awkward and flushed expression when his sister told her. It was a nice change from his normally cocky demeanour, and she now had a new nickname for him; he still liked to call her Princess after all.

Bellamy learned that Clarke loved to draw in her spare time and he became an unwilling subject. Calliope had especially taken a liking to her boyfriend and luckily for the cat, it seemed to be mutual.

‘My cat loves you more than she loves me’ Clarke pouted one night, when they were sitting on her couch. Bellamy was watching something on the TV, Clarke was drawing his profile and Calliope had just jumped into Bellamy’s lap.

‘Of course; who doesn’t?’ he answered smug and Calliope purred loudly as Bellamy scratched her behind her ears.

‘Doucheface’ Clarke send him a mock glare and Bellamy snickered.

‘ _Doucheface_? Really?’ he grinned.

‘I don’t know what Dr. Echo sees in you’

‘Yes, you do’ he said with the same cocky smile and she rolled her eyes at him.

‘Just sit still, _Bradbury_ ’ she ordered, while she refocused on bringing Bellamy to life on paper. Bellamy murmured something sweet to Calliope, making Clarke smile.

*

‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ Bellamy said when she opened her door for him and he handed her a beautiful bouquet of lilac roses.

Clarke was rendered speechless by the sweet gesture. She loved flowers and hadn’t received them since Wells. Her eyes filled with tears, not because of the memories of her late husband, but because Bellamy had taken the time to bring her flowers, right after coming off an eighteen hour shift; just to make her feel appreciated and loved. ‘Bell..’ she sniffed, blinking away the tears. ‘You really didn’t have to..’

‘I know, but I wanted to’ he assured her, in a soft voice and he kissed her brow.

‘I didn’t get you anything..’

‘I’d rather you give me some of your time, Princess’

Clarke chuckled. ‘Smooth. You want to Netflix, dinner and chill?’

‘If with chill you mean fall asleep on the couch, than yes; I’m exhausted’

‘I’ll lead the way’ she winked.

It was on her couch, watching “The Prince of Egypt”, while eating spaghetti with Bellamy, that Clarke realised the depths of her feelings towards him. She didn’t just like-like him, as Jasper would put it, or care for Bellamy a great deal, no; Clarke was irrevocably in love with him.

Bellamy was her best friend, the person she needed and trusted the most (aside from Jacob) and she had no idea how she was ever going to get the strength to leave him.

She’d loved both Wells and Raven wholeheartedly, but with Bellamy it was different. Clarke loved him with her heart _and_ _soul_ , and it felt like they belonged together. Clarke had never believed in soulmates or true love, but they had only been dating for three months, and yet, here she was; head over heels for him with every fibre of her being. _How could the universe be so cruel?_

Clarke tossed and turned the entire night and didn’t fall asleep until Bellamy pulled her against his warm body, and wrapped his arms around her.  

*

They were bathing in his bathtub together, Clarke comfortably against Bellamy’s chest, some wine in their system and with Clarke coming from a high he’d gotten her with his fingers, when he asked her to meet his godparents.

‘Bellamy, I—‘

‘I get that you don’t want everyone in the hospital to know our business, but this is my family and I’d really appreciate it. They really want to meet you and it’s their 28th wedding anniversary’

‘You told your godparents about me?’ she asked, surprised.

‘Of course’ he answered unwavering, before he added in a more vulnerable voice, ‘Haven’t you?’

‘Yes, Jacob’s really happy for us’ she whispered and he nuzzled her hair and rested his hand on her stomach.

‘Than come with me; O would love to see you there too and she’s bringing Lincoln as well’ he spoke. ‘It’ll be fun, I promise. They live on a small estate in Arkadia, a rural area up north, so we’ll go hiking together, stargazing and you can sketch something other than Calliope or me’ he said and she chuckled in response. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to just leave the city for a long weekend?’ a hint of longing in his voice.

‘Yes, it would be’

‘So, you’ll be my plus one?’ he asked and Clarke could hear the smile in his voice. ‘I’d hate to ask Dr. Echo as my date’ Clarke snorted and bumped his knee with hers.

‘You had me with sketching, no need to try and make me jealous’

Bellamy brought his lips to her ear and graced her earlobe with his teeth, making Clarke shiver. ‘Was it working?’ he whispered in a dark, hoarse voice and it send a bolt to her sex. Clarke unconsciously groaned and clenched her thighs.

The thought of Bellamy with someone else, not just in this position, but who was holding his hand and being introduced to people he cared about, made her tremble with anger. It scared her that he elicited all these feelings from her; anger, jealousy, longing, happiness, contentment and especially love in such a heavy amount, but she didn’t stand a fighting chance. The cocktail of emotions made resisting his pull impossible.

‘Yes’ she admitted in a whisper, and the sound was quickly followed by a moan when his fingers slipped between her folds.

*

‘Babe, we’re here’ Clarke heard Bellamy tell her when he woke her up. He kissed her brow and blessed her with an excited smile. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘We’re already here?’ she asked, voice still rough with sleep.

‘Yeah, come on’ he smiled brightly, eyes gleaming with happiness and it made her heart flutter. He was like a child in toy store, ecstatic and full of energy; all that because she agreed to meet his godparents. Bellamy unbuckled himself and Clarke, and helped Lincoln carry their bags into the house after he got out of his car. Octavia was already inside, she’d wasted no time, and Clarke wasn’t planning on doing that either. She was kind of thrilled to meet the couple that meant so much to both Bellamy and Octavia and had helped them in the most amazing of ways.

Bellamy introduced her immediately when she walked into the hallway. ‘Clarke, this is my and O’s godfather, Roan Glazer, and our godmother—‘

‘ _Cathie…_ ’

Clarke tensed visibly, before meeting the eyes of Bellamy’s godmother – she recognised them immediately. It didn’t matter that their gazes hadn’t met in thirty years; Clarke would recognise Raven’s eyes forever.

Time had been kind to her; she’d aged beautifully. Raven might’ve gotten wrinkles and her hair had greyed in the last thirty years, but her _eyes_ ; her eyes were the same ones Clarke had fallen in love with in the eighties. The brown orbs were still full with sarcastic wit and life.

_Raven._

‘My mom, actually’ Clarke whispered, when she found her voice. She didn’t notice she was trembling like a leaf, until Bellamy steadied her when he laid his hand on her lower back. Bellamy gave her a concerned look, but Clarke still had her eyes on the woman she’d left all those years ago. 

She’d never expected to see Raven again. And definitely not while being introduced as the new girlfriend of her godson.

Raven’s face was drained of all colour. ‘You look so much like her.. Isn’t she the spitting image of Cathie, honey?’ Raven asked Roan.

‘Yes, the resemblance is remarkable’ he agreed, somewhat intrigued.

‘My father thought so too’ Clarke whispered. Bellamy stepped closer to her and she melted into his side, his hand still anchoring her.

‘Wait—How do you know Clarke’s mom?’ Octavia asked confused.

‘We, _uhm_ , we dated in our twenties..’ Raven explained, still staring in shock and disbelieve at Clarke. ‘How is she? Your mom? I haven’t spoken to her since— in forever..’

‘I’m afraid she passed away when I was a teenager’ the lie rolled off her tongue like honey.

‘ _Oh_..’ Raven exclaimed. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.. But she lives on in you; you really do look so much like her.. Yes, very much indeed..’

Clarke thanked Raven with a heavy heart and an awkward silence fell over them. Lincoln especially looked very uncomfortable.

‘Well, the cook promised that dinner would be served shortly, so why don’t you kids go freshen up a bit?’ Roan smirked, after his concerned gaze left his wife’s form and amusement at Lincoln’s uncomfortableness settled in. His hand rested on his wife’s middle – he hadn’t changed at all, Clarke noted with some delight. She wondered how they came to be; when she’d dated Raven, Raven wouldn’t give Roan the light of day.

‘Yes, that would be nice’ Bellamy spoke and Clarke nodded in agreement, before he guided her up the stairs and into their room.

‘You okay?’ he asked concerned and Clarke gave him a weak smile.

‘I’m fine’ she tried to assure him. ‘Where can I find the bathroom, Bell?’

‘Across the hall, I’ll go get our bags’

When she’d locked the bathroom door behind her, she quickly called Jacob. Clarke needed her son to calm her nervously beating heart, otherwise she was never going to survive dinner. Jacob picked up after a few rings and Clarke told him about running into her old acquaintance.

Jacob told her to stick to Clarke Daisy Griffin’s backstory, to ask some questions about Cathie to avoid suspicion and to stay as collected as she could. Clarke knew all of this, but it was nice to share her worries with her son and for him to try and calm her down.

‘Clarke?’ Octavia knocked and interrupted her call. ‘Dinner’s ready’

‘Oh, thanks O’ she said hastily. ‘I’ll be down in a sec’

They had dinner in a spacious dining room with large windows and expensive looking wallpaper that was lit by a chandelier and a fireplace, but the first thing Clarke noticed was the painting that decorated the space above the hearth. It was the painting of the ocean view she made for Raven as an anniversary gift.

‘You’re mother made it for me’ Raven told her, following Clarke’s line of sight. ‘I always loved the painting and didn’t want to part with it, even after all those years..’

Clarke didn’t know how to respond, so she settled for, ‘Yes, I thought I recognised her initials’

Bellamy’s hand found hers under the table and his familiar touch made her breathe a little easier. ‘Clarke is an artist too’ he cut in, and she was thankful he did. Bellamy told everyone that she liked to draw, how realistic her portraits were and how much she knew about art history; pride colouring his voice and features.

‘He’s overselling me’ Clarke laughed, cheeks rosy and she squeezed his hand.

‘I’m not’ he whispered, his eyes stuck on her, and his gaze held hers for a moment. ‘Anyway’ he turned away from Clarke and raised his wineglass to make a toast. ‘To Raven and Roan and their twenty-eight years of marriage; I wish you at least that same number of years to come, and I hope that everyone in this room will find the type of love that the two of you share’

‘To Raven and Roan’ Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln parroted, and Raven and Roan shared a private, loving smile.

‘How did you two meet?’ Clarke heard herself ask.    

‘I worked at a diner he was a regular at’ Raven answered, eyes darting back to her husband. ‘I can’t say I particularly liked him at first, but he wore me down’

Roan’s deep laugh filled the room. ‘Yes, I was kind of the stereotypical trust fund kid back then. I like to think I’ve changed’

‘You did’ Raven smiled. ‘Otherwise I would’ve never agreed to go out with you – let alone _marry_ you’

‘Well, I’m glad you said yes – to both those questions. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the last thirty years with anyone else and I’m thrilled I get to spend even more of my life with you’ Roan’s eyes were filled with so much love and warmth, his gaze could’ve melted the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. Clarke was happy that Raven had found her happily ever after with Roan; it was obvious that they really loved each other. It was a beautiful thing to witness.

Raven’s cheeks tinted a pink colour and she rolled her eyes at him. ‘Still as smooth as when we first met’ she laughed, and he joined her.

The couple told their guests about the time they travelled through Brazil and their car broke down. ‘I knew I loved her right then and there’ Roan smirked, eyes holding a mischievous glint. ‘Raven did all the hard work while I sat down and had a relaxing drink; the perfect woman’ he winked and Raven grinned.

‘I don’t know why you’re winking; I totally am’ she said smug.

‘Are you a mechanic, Mrs. Glazer?’ Clarke asked politely, trying not to let her nerves show, but her tapping foot probably gave her away.

‘Call me Raven, please’ Raven’s eyes found hers again, and her brown orbs were so intense, Clarke was afraid Raven would see right through her. ‘But, no, I’m an engineer. I made my money by making improvements on solar panels’ Raven swallowed, before adding in a considerately softer tone, ‘Your mom actually gave me the idea’

Clarke gave Raven a trembling smile and Bellamy saved her once again, when he graciously changed the subject by asking Roan about the renovations to the estate.

Clarke kept quiet during the rest of dinner, only speaking when spoken to and nodding and smiling along. She hoped she’d hid her anxiety well, but Bellamy called her out on her strange behaviour when they were alone in their room later that night.

‘I’m fine Bell, really’ she tried to assure him without meeting his eyes. He was having none of it.

‘Princess, talk to me’

_I wish I could._

‘Just hold me?’ she pleaded, looking up into his captivating eyes that told her that he would drop the conversation for now, but wanted to finish it later.

Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Clarke rested her head against his chest and he kissed her hair. ‘Always’ he promised.

Clarke tried to memorise everything about that hug, because it probably would be one of their last. The feeling of his arms around her, of resting against his firm chest, of being surrounded by his musky and pine like scent, of being loved, of feeling safe. Of being truly warm. She engraved it all in her brain, so she could never forget him and what it was like to be loved by Bellamy Bradbury Blake.

*

Clarke could feel Raven staring at her all throughout breakfast and the atmosphere was a little tense before Bellamy tried to redirect the subject of “Cathie” to a funny Thanksgiving memory that made everyone laugh. Clarke let out a sigh of relief when Bellamy announced that the two of them were going to take a hike together.

‘I’m sorry’ Bellamy announced when they were outside.

‘For what?’ Clarke’s cold hand found his warm one automatically when they started walking. She looked up at Bellamy and his gaze was glued to the horizon, but even if Clarke couldn’t see the look in his eyes, she knew he felt dejected. His slumped shoulders, frown and the tone of his voice betrayed him. 

‘This whole mess..’ he sighed. ‘I know you weren’t expecting to be confronted by images of your mother this weekend.. This weekend was supposed to be fun and all it’s been is just fucking awful..’

‘Hey’ Clarke turned to him and made both of them stop. ‘Not the entire weekend has been awful. I got to wake up with you this morning; that made it all worth it’ she smiled.

Bellamy appreciated her words, the corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile. ‘Still.. This weekend was important to me. You are _so_ important to me, Princess, and they are too. I really needed this to be-‘ Bellamy swallows and his gaze drops to her shoes, ‘ _perfect_ ’

Clarke couldn’t help the grin that stretched across her face. ‘Bell-‘

‘Yeah, I know – nothing in life is perfect. But I needed this to be a close call. I never had someone that I wanted to wake up next to every morning, or someone I wanted to introduce to my family. Or wanted to _start_ a family with-‘

Clarke’s grin dropped off her face and she inhaled sharply. ‘Bellamy!’

‘I know we’ve only been together for a short time, but I honestly can’t imagine my future without you in it, Clarke’ his eyes shone brightly with a light that could only be described as love, and Clarke had to bite her tongue so she wouldn’t blurt out those four little words. _I love you too._

It was better to keep that to herself; their inevitable ending was going to be heart-breaking enough. There was no reason to make it more painful.

Her silence and her shock didn’t seem to upset Bellamy, he remained calm; he just seemed relieved to have it off his chest. ‘I love you, Clarke. You don’t have to say it back’ he assured her, continuing. ‘But I just needed to _say_ it. I needed you to know, okay?’

‘Okay..’ she replied automatically, still troubled by the turn of events.

Bellamy took Clarke’s hand in his again and filled the silence by telling her about the summers he spend on the estate with Octavia, both as an adult and a child, as they took their hike. He told her the stories of when his mom taught him how to swim in the lake nearby and when Roan had taught him how to shoot a bow and arrow in the second summer after his mother’s passing. Clarke listened, but her secret was eating her alive; now more than ever.  

Bellamy took her to a nice spot up in the mountains where they had a beautiful view of the valley. They ate the lunch Bellamy had prepared for the two of them before Bellamy started reading and Clarke started sketching.

Clarke felt like screaming and crying, but she kept it all in and challenged her emotions into the drawing of their view.

Clarke loved Bellamy, she really did. She craved him during the day and dreamed about him at night. This was a type of love even Clarke had never felt in her lifetime.

That was what made leaving Bellamy so hard, but he deserved what Raven had gotten with Roan; a family, a future, a real life.

Bellamy’s book had made him travel to another world, somewhere far away, while Clarke’s heart was slowly breaking in a million pieces.

Suddenly raindrops fell heavily from the sky and Bellamy and Clarke were forced to cut their time outside short and return to the Glazer’s house. They were soaked to their bones when they arrived at the house and Bellamy told Clarke he was getting some towels for them, so they could take a shower together.

Clarke went upstairs to their bedroom, but when she passed the bathroom, she overheard Octavia say something to Lincoln that caught her attention.

‘Lincoln, I’m a cop!’ Octavia angrily whispered. ‘I know what I’m talking about!’

‘Babe, I really think you’re imagining—‘ Lincoln tried, voice much calmer.

‘I’m not! Something is off with Clarke, I can feel it in my bones. And I overheard her having an odd phone call here—‘

‘Jesus, Octavia. Were you eavesdropping on her?’

‘It was an accident; I came to get her for dinner’ Octavia said impatiently, obviously annoyed with the fact that Lincoln wasn’t believing any of her suspicious. ‘And I know she keeps lying about her mom every time Raven brings her up. I can tell because—‘

‘You’re a cop, yes’ Lincoln filled in, amused. ‘We’ve established that numerous times’

‘Lincoln, for fuck’s sake!’ Octavia growled. ‘This is about my brother! And him dating a liar! I’m telling you; there’s something going on with her, and I’m getting to the bottom of it’

Clarke didn’t even hear Octavia finish her sentence. Her feet led her to her bedroom in a split second, panic fuelling her movements. Bellamy entered their room right after she closed the door, not giving her the chance to freak out for a moment.

‘Ready for that shower?’ he asked cheerfully, his mood a complete different colour than her own.

Clarke’s heart was beating in overdrive and she broke out in a nervous sweat, but her brain saved her quickly. ‘Uhm, I have a missed call and text from my godfather, so I’m going to call him back. Why don’t you go first?’

Bellamy looked disappointed, but didn’t object. He kissed her brow and left some towels for her, before leaving their room.

Clarke heard Lincoln tell Bellamy that the shower was all his and Octavia add that they were heading to the Glazer's indoor pool, but it was all white noise to Clarke while she hastily stuffed everything that was hers in her weekend bag. If Bellamy telling her he wanted to have a family with her one day wasn’t enough reason to leave, Octavia (a cop) breathing down her neck was.

She ripped the drawing of the valley out of her sketchbook and scribbled a goodbye note for Bellamy on the back, before leaving it on the towels he left for her.

Clarke stole Bellamy’s car keys out of his jacket and fled out of the house, trying to leave as quickly and quietly as possible. Raindrops mixed with the tears that were streaming down her face when she got outside. It was raining even more heavily than when Bellamy and Clarke got back from their hike, but Clarke didn’t even notice it; all she felt was a heartbreak that threatened to end her and a guilt so strong that it made her want to vomit.

Clarke dumped her bag in the car, buckled her seatbelt and started the engine. She was driving away from the house, wipers going a mile a minute and gravel flying behind her. Clarke was almost at the gates, before they started closing in front of her eyes.

‘No!’ she yelled and she hit the steering wheel in pure hopelessness when she came to a stop.

Five seconds had passed, before the passenger door opened and Bellamy got into the car, looking absolutely _wrecked_ , and Clarke started to cry.

‘No! Don’t you dare cry!’ he said upset, his voice shaking with numerous emotions. ‘Fuck, Clarke. What the hell?’ he demanded, before quoting her note. _‘”I’m sorry Bellamy. I can’t do this anymore. You deserve more.”_ Everyone deserves more than to be left in a three sentence note, Clarke! Especially after lying about joining someone in the shower and then stealing their car! _Everyone_!’ he sounded devastated and furious; not that she had expected anything else.

Clarke’s grip tightened around the steering wheel and her knuckles whitened. ‘I know.. You do..’ she said softly.

‘Why?’ he begged. ‘What happened? What changed? Is it because I said that I loved you?’ Clarke bit her lip and let her tears fall down freely. ‘Say something – _please_!’

‘It’s just not going to work!’ she cried, gaze remaining on the steering wheel.

‘Why not?!’ Bellamy asked angrily, his voice raising a couple of octaves. The storm that began seemed to emphasize his anger and the lightning in the distance lit up the sky for a second.

‘Because you deserve what Raven has. A good marriage, a nice home, a loving family. I want you to have that, but I can’t—‘ Clarke’s voice left her for a moment, the pain weighing down to heavily on her chest. ‘—give that to you..’

‘Why not?’

 _Because I don’t age; I’m frozen._ It was on the tip of her tongue, but at that moment a blue thunderbolt came crashing down, struck the car with all its strength and their argument died on their lips when they got electrified.

Everything around Clarke disappeared. Only the absence of light remained.

*

‘Mom?’

It was the faint sound of her son asking for her that made Clarke finally open her eyes. ‘Jacob?’ she asked in a gravelly voice. ‘Where are we? _Where’s Bellamy_?’ she hastily asked, the thought of what could’ve happened to him made her heart beat wildly in fear.

‘We’re at Arkadia’s hospital. Octavia traced my number and I came as soon as she called’ Jacob answered calmly. ‘Bellamy’s here too, in a room next to this one’ he was quiet for a beat and the silence was loud. Clarke feared what he was going to say next. ‘He’s not doing well. I don’t know in what exact shape he is, but it’s bad and he’s had surgery. He hasn’t woken up yet..’

‘No..’ Clarke begged softly and she shook her head. ‘No, no, no.. It can’t be..’ she cried. ‘This is all my fault, I—‘

‘Yes, his family told me what happened. Not really your finest moment, Mother’ he didn’t sound judgemental, only concerned.

Clarke agreed. ‘I was a coward. And selfish. I knew I had to end it, but I couldn’t look him in the eye when I did it’ she sniffed. ‘I have to see him, Jacob’

‘It’s late Mom. Visiting hours are almost over and the two of you need as much rest as you can get. Tomorrow’s a new day’ he gently squeezed her hand and his eyes filled with tears. ‘I was so afraid that you wouldn’t wake up.. I know that I’m spoiled because I don’t know what it’s like to live a life without your mother, but I’m not willing to find out yet..’

‘Oh, Jacob..’ she choked on her tears and squeezed his hand back. ‘You don’t have to yet. I’m still here, honey. You still have me’

Jacob nodded. ‘Do you want some water? Are you comfortable?’ he asked kindly. ‘Do you want me to get your doctor?’

Clarke slightly shook her head. ‘I’m fine, honey, thank you. You should go though, you need your rest as well’

Jacob wished her sweet dreams and promised to come back in the morning. Clarke gave him a grateful smile and told her son she loved him. When Jacob was gone, she snuck out of her room to go see Bellamy.

She found Bellamy lying motionless in his bed with a tube coming out of his mouth. His arms were covered in burns that matched her own, but before she could inspect him further or read his chart, a nurse caught her and made her go back to her own room.

Clarke burst out in tears when she was back in her bed and folded her hands. Clarke prayed to whoever had saved her life the first time, to whoever had listened when she prayed for Raven and for Jacob. But this time she prayed for Bellamy.

Bellamy didn’t deserve this. He deserved a long and happy life filled with laughter and love. He deserved to get what he wanted; children he could name after Ancient Greek heroes and goddesses, and grandchildren he could spoil rotten. Bellamy deserved to go to Europe and see the rest of the world, he deserved to have a million more weekly Sunday brunches and trips to the grocery store…

Bellamy needed to wake up.

*

When Clarke woke up the next day she felt different; warmer, more in the present, _alive_.

Jacob was sitting next to her and her son asked her how she was feeling. He told her that she would be discharged today if she was lucky.

‘Good’ she commented, before asking what she really needed to know. ‘Bellamy?’

Jacob gave her a smile. ‘He woke up’

Clarke let out a sigh of relieve and felt both like crying and laughing. _Thank the heavens._ ‘How’s he doing? How is he feeling?’

‘Well, he woke up; that’s a good sign. The surgery seems to have been successful as well, but he received the biggest blow, so he’s not going to get discharged for at least a couple of days’ Jacob explained, before adding in a softer tone. ‘He asked about you’

‘He did?’ she asked surprised, but felt silly for feeling so. It was in Bellamy’s nature to always worry about someone else, to always obliterate himself; it was just one of the millions of reasons why she loved him.

_I love him._

‘I need to see him, now’ she said firmly.

‘I’m not sure his sister would let you..’ Jacob grimaced.

‘Honey, _please_..’ Clarke begged. ‘I only need to see him for a moment. I won’t approach him or anything, but I just need to see him awake and without tubes’

Jacob sighed. ‘Only for a second, than I’m bringing you back to this bed’ he relented, before helping her out of bed. 

Bellamy was awake and speaking to Octavia, who was sitting next to him. He looked tired, but he looked way better than he had the day before and without the tubes coming out of his face. Clarke was satisfied.

She turned around to leave when he noticed her. ‘Clarke’ his voice was hoarse, but insistent.

‘Hi’ she said softly and they stared at one another for a beat, both relieved to see the other alive and be near each other again.

‘O, can you give us a moment?’ Bellamy requested.

‘Bell—‘ his sister protested.

‘Octavia’ his voice didn’t leave room for an argument and they silently communicated with each other, before Octavia got up. She glared at Clarke as she passed her, but Clarke only had eyes for Bellamy.

Bellamy’s gaze locked with hers as she made her way over to him. ‘Hey’ she whispered when she carefully sat down on his bed, and she had to bite her bottom lip to not burst out into tears. Clarke was so relieved he’d woken up, so happy she was so close to him that she could count his freckles again, and she felt so guilty over putting him in that bed.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, his eyes, filled with concern and love, holding hers captive. It was at that moment that she knew for certain that she couldn’t do to Bellamy what she’d done to Raven: leave without telling the truth and deprive him of the choice to be with her; even if their future would be a difficult and short one.

‘Much better now’ she promised, and a single tear escaped her. Bellamy brought his hand to her cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb. She kissed his palm before returning the question.

‘Much better now’ he answered.

Clarke took his hand in both of hers and kissed his knuckles. ‘Your hands are warm’ he commented, surprised, and it made Clarke chuckle.

‘Yes, seems like they are’ she replied and one of her hands moved to his face to stroke his cheek; she couldn’t stop touching him. ‘I’m _so_ sorry, Bellamy’ she cried.

Bellamy swallowed. ‘I want to finish our conversation’ he said determined.

‘Now?’ she asked, a little unsure if this was the right time.

Bellamy nodded in response and she squeezed his hand to let him know she agreed.

‘I really need to tell you something’ Clarke started, ‘I really _want_ to tell you something, but I’m afraid you’re not going to believe me..’

‘Why wouldn’t I believe you?’ he asked, both surprised by her words, and confused as to why he wouldn’t believe her.

‘Because technically speaking it’s impossible, but I love you, Bellamy’ Clarke said. ‘So much. That’s why I need to come clean.. I need you in my life, Bell..’ she sniffed.

A mixture of emotions painted his face; surprise, happiness and disbelieve, when Clarke told Bellamy she loved him. ‘I need you too’ he whispered.

‘When we get home I’ll tell you everything’ she promised. ‘But right now you need to rest and get better’

His grip around her hand tightened and panic took a hold on him. ‘Don’t leave again’

‘I won’t’

‘Stay here. With me’ he pleaded. ‘We can share this bed’

Clarke kissed his knuckles. ‘Okay, I’ll stay here’ she whispered and she laid down next to him. Bellamy gently wrapped his arm around her and kissed her brow.

‘I love you Bellamy’ Clarke whispered against his chest. ‘No matter what happens, don’t forget that, okay?’

‘Never’ he assured her. ‘I love you too, Princess’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took forever, but it got longer and longer and now it's almost as long as the previous one...
> 
> But at least that means 15k words of Bellarke goodness (I hope) :) Enjoy xx
> 
> (I changed the rating to Mature because of the smut that's going on in the middle of this chapter, so if that's not your cup of tea, skip it ;) )

 

It was when Clarke woke up an hour later that she realised she dozed off in Bellamy’s arms. He was still fast asleep; his arms still enveloped her small form and he was drooling a little. Clarke’s heart filled with a glowing warmth as she took in her drooling boyfriend and her lips turned into a smile. She was happy.

But concern followed quickly. Clarke had promised Bellamy that she was going to tell him her secret, and she was going to do so the minute they were back at her apartment, but she was scared. What if he didn’t believe her? What if he did, but couldn’t keep it to himself? Clarke trusted him, but an even bigger issue was that after a lifetime of lying and running away, she didn’t know how to stay.

She carefully removed his arm and got out of bed. Bellamy shifted in his sleep and murmured something, but remained asleep. Her fingers itched with the need to touch his cheek, curls, anything, but she didn’t want to wake him, so Clarke controlled herself and snuck back to her room.

She found Jacob reading a book in her hospital bed and when she raised her eyebrow at him, he sheepishly explained it was more comfortable than sitting in the chairs. ‘Not as comfortable as your own bed’ Clarke countered, calmly. ‘Really honey, you can go home if you want to. I’m quite alright’

‘I’ll go home when you get discharged, so we can travel back to the City together’ Jacob said. Something in his eyes flashed and the corner of his mouth lifted into a half-smile. ‘Or are you planning on staying a while longer?’

Clarke made sure the door was closed behind her before continuing their conversation. ‘Yes. I promised Bellamy I wouldn’t leave him again. And I also promised him to tell him the truth about me’

Jacob’s eyes widened in surprise and he abandoned his book on the nightstand. ‘You’re going to tell him about your’ he said before his voice dropped to a whisper. ‘… _immortality_?’

Clarke nodded. ‘I can’t cut and run like I’ve done for the last five decades. Not with Bellamy. He’s not like Raven, she’s strong and stubborn, and Bell is too, but in a different way… Raven got over my betrayal, but Bellamy won’t…’ Clarke whimpered and blinked away a tear. ‘I owe him my honesty. And a choice’ she tried to explain and her son understood. ‘I love him’ she added in a whisper.

‘When are you going to tell him?’ Jacob asked as she sat down next to him on the bed.

‘So you agree?’ Clarke needed to know that her son supported her decision. He had kept her secret as long as she had and telling another soul would affect his life as well. If they disagreed about telling Bellamy, Clarke wasn’t sure she could go through with it. And she couldn’t do it without Jacob’s help; he had photos and other souvenirs of her previous lives that she needed, so she could prove her agelessness to Bellamy.

‘It’s not my secret to tell, Mother’

‘Jacob’ Clarke said stern. ‘That may be so, but he’ll learn you’re not my godfather. This is about you, as well’

Jacob let out a sigh. ‘I’m relieved you’re going to tell Bellamy’ he admitted. ‘I always hated that you were alone, and Bellamy seems like a great guy. And it would be nice for someone else to be in on the secret; it’ll take some of the weight off our shoulders’

Clarke was reminded again of how much of a burden her problem was for not only her, but also for her son. ‘I’m sorry..’ she whispered.

‘I know you are, Mother. I am too, but it’s neither one of our faults’ Jacob assured her, before putting an arm around her shoulder and making a surprised sound. ‘Since when are you warm?’

Clarke chuckled and wiped a stubborn tear off her cheek. ‘I was surprised as well. And to answer your earlier question, I’m going to tell Bellamy when we’re back home at my apartment. I’ve been meaning to ask you,’ she began, ‘could you give me some old pictures of myself with your dad? And any other evidence you have of my immortality?’

‘Of course’ he said. ‘I’ll drop them off at your apartment when I get back home’

‘Thanks, honey’ Clarke said at the exact moment Octavia came bursting through the door, startling both Clarke and her son.

‘Clarke, what are you doing here?’ the girl fumed.

‘Saying goodbye to Jacob’ she answered, as calmly and non-threatening as she could.

‘Why? Are you leaving again?’ Octavia glared and the girl unconsciously balled up her hand.

‘No!’ Clarke quickly answered. ‘I’m not going anywhere, but Jacob is going back home now’ she tried to explain, and Octavia looked at her for a beat before nodding. ‘You better not’

‘I’m not’

‘Good, because I won’t let you get away with another stunt like this, Clarke! Leaving my brother in a _note_ , before stealing his _car_ and getting him in the _hospital_!’ Octavia yelled and Clarke winced, feeling her guilt as strongly as a physical pain, but the brunette wasn’t done yet. ‘I could arrest you, right here, right now, but Bell doesn’t want to press charges. God knows why, but he loves you – not that you _deserve_ it—‘

‘That’s enough, Ms. Blake’ Jacob interrupted her, in a commanding tone, while he stood up. ‘It was never Clarke’s intention for anyone to end up in the hospital and she regrets what she has done to your brother. She has apologised and promised Bellamy she wouldn’t leave him again, that’s why she isn’t travelling back to New York with me. And I understand why you’re upset, but their relationship is none of your business—‘

‘The hell it is!’ Octavia interrupted him angrily. ‘Bellamy is my _brother_ and how Clarke treats him _is_ my business’

‘Speaking about your brother’ Clarke spoke up, getting restless, ‘I’d like to get back to him now’ she told Octavia, before turning to her son. ‘And Jacob should hit the road as soon as possible, before it gets too dark outside’

Jacob nodded. ‘Do you have everything you need? For the next couple of days?’

‘She does’ Octavia answered for Clarke, crossing her arms and sending daggers with her eyes at Clarke, before the blonde got the chance to respond. ‘Everything she needs is in the weekend bag she dumped in my brother’s car’

‘Good’ Jacob said, choosing to ignore Octavia’s dig and the venom in her voice. ‘Would you be so kind as to get it for us?’

A moment passed where no one said anything and Clarke dreaded the whole thing. She didn’t want her son to drive too long in the dark on his way back home and for Bellamy to wake up before she was back at his side. Octavia glared at the both of them and her lips were pressed into a thin line. ‘Sure’ she spit, before leaving the room, giving Clarke and Jacob the opportunity to have a private goodbye.

‘Are you sure you want to stay here? With her?’ Jacob asked, concerned. ‘You could go back with me and wait for Bellamy at home’

‘No, I can’t do that, honey’ Clarke answered. ‘Bellamy needs me’

Jacob nodded, but Clarke could see her son wasn’t all too pleased with the fact that she was staying behind and facing Octavia’s wrath on her own. They hugged each other tightly and Clarke thanked him for being at her side the last couple of days.

When they let each other go, Clarke lovingly stroked his cheek and fretted about his safety. ‘Promise me you’ll drive safely, and that if you get tired or unwell, that you’ll check into a motel or something. I’ll cover the expenses; I don’t want anything to hap—‘

‘Mother, I’ll be fine’ Jacob promised, chuckling. The sound of his laughter and the twinkle in his brown eyes reminded her so much of Wells, that joy and pride emerged within her, and she almost forgot to be annoyed. Almost.

‘Honey—‘

‘I promise’ he assured her, smiling amused.

‘And text me when you get home. Otherwise I’ll worry’

‘Of course’ Jacob pulled her in for one last hug and Clarke kissed his cheek.

‘I love you, honey. So much’ she whispered.

‘I love you too, Mom’ he said. ‘And I’m really happy you decided to tell Bellamy’

‘Good’ Clarke said, relieved.

Octavia came back with Clarke’s bag and dropped it onto a chair. Jacob thanked the brunette for calling him, before saying goodbye to the Glazers, and after one final hug from his mother he left and Clarke returned to Bellamy’s room.

He was already awake and seemed to physically relax when she appeared. ‘How did you sleep?’ she asked, giving him a small smile.

‘All right’ he answered, as she sat down next to him on his bed. ‘Didn’t like waking up and finding you gone, though’

Clarke grimaced and her hand found his again. ‘I’m sorry. I was saying goodbye to Jacob, he’s going back to New York now, and that took a little longer than expected’

‘He left?’ Bellamy asked, disappointed. ‘I was hoping to meet him’

Clarke’s lips involuntarily turned into a smile. She’d love for Bellamy and Jacob to meet, the two people she loved the most in this world, and she had no doubts that they’d get along great. But before they could meet, Clarke had to tell Bellamy the truth and he had to understand that their relationship had an expiration date. If he chose to spend her limited time with her, it was a possibility, but Clarke would understand if he chose not to. She would let Bellamy go, if he asked her to, but she would give him the choice first; he deserved that.

‘Maybe when you’re not in a hospital bed’ she winked and Bellamy smiled.

‘I’d like that’

Clarke softly squeezed his hand. ‘Me too’

*

A week later Clarke found herself back home. Clarke got discharged from the hospital the day Jacob left and Bellamy a couple of days after that. Lincoln had left already, he needed to get back to work, so Octavia drove Bellamy and Clarke back to New York, since neither one of them were up for driving that long.  

It was a very uncomfortable and long ride. Octavia kept glaring at Clarke through the rear-view mirror and couldn’t help but make a few snide remarks. Bellamy kept grunting that she needed to knock it off, as Clarke did her best to keep herself together. Bellamy helped her save face with his soothing touch, when his olive-toned fingers intertwined with her pale ones. She sighed in relief when Octavia dropped her off at her apartment building.

‘Thanks for the ride, Octavia’ Clarke said, when the car came to a stop.

Octavia remained silent and Bellamy softly shook his head at his sister.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Bell’ she said, before kissing his cheek. ‘But only if you feel up for it’

‘I’ll text you’ he promised, and Clarke wished both of the Blakes a good night, before getting out of the car and grabbing her weekend bag from the trunk.

On her kitchen table Clarke found the old photo albums Jacob dropped off, along with her old engagement ring and her real passport; the one she got in 1944 when she turned 18 years old. Clarke flipped through the albums, eyes filling with tears as she got reacquainted with pictures she hadn’t seen in 50 years.

Clarke had lost her father when she was 14 years old, and now 75 years later, she couldn’t remember how he’d looked like exactly. She remembered he was blond and had blue eyes, but she couldn’t remember what shade or how his nose had looked like exactly. The memory of her mother had faded as well. Clarke had forgotten how Abby’s smile looked like exactly and how it felt to be held by her.

Clarke found a photo of herself as a little girl, sitting on the couch with her parents. Seeing both her mother and her father again, brought up so many memories; of her walking through the park with her dad and their beagle, of her mother teaching her how to make an apple-pie, of them spending Christmas mornings together and going to church. Her mother braiding her hair and putting her into a blue dress. Her father building her a swing in their backyard and helping her with her math homework.

Her eyes filled with tears and she let them fall. She was too exhausted to keep them in; the long drive from Arkadia, but also her long life, filled with lying, loneliness and running away, had left her empty and worn out.

She’d missed everything in her son’s life; his graduation from Colombia, his wedding, the births of his daughters, all of his birthdays… She’d missed a lot in her own frozen life; the chance of having a steady group of friends, of getting remarried, of expanding her family, of maybe becoming a well-known artist like she’d dreamed about as a little girl…

Was it even all worth it?

Was getting a second chance at life, so that Jacob wouldn’t grow up as an orphan, worth living her empty one?

Clarke knew it was. She’d been an active mother until he went off to college, which meant that she’d gotten _15 years_ she otherwise would’ve missed. Not to mention the 50 years after that, that had moments with her son; less than she would’ve wanted, but wonderful moments nonetheless.

Jacob made it all worth it. Clarke would do it all again for him, and more, in a heartbeat.

And falling in love with Bellamy had made it all worth it as well. Bellamy made her feel loved, wanted, safe and wonderful. Raven and Wells had too, but she’d never needed them as much as she needed Bellamy. She was incomplete without him, only one half of a whole. Bellamy was what Clarke was; caring, headstrong, determined, good-natured, but he was also more; brave, selfless, protective and honest.

And tomorrow she was going to be honest as well, choosing her wedding picture, the only photo she had of herself with Wells and Jacob, and a couple of photos of herself with her son throughout the years, to prove her story.

Clarke also kept a safe in the back of her closet, containing photos and sketches she made of herself in the past, the polaroid pictures Jacob took when she met Harper and baby Abigail, a couple of old passports, and the photo booth picture she took with Raven along with the silver bracelet Raven got her.

It was all evidence that, if put together, would prove Clarke’s agelessness since her accident in 1952.

And that was what she was planning to do the next day.

*

Clarke woke up to the sound of an incoming call, and she wasn’t surprised to see it was Bellamy that was calling her.

‘Good morning, Bell’ she said, when she picked up her cell, voice groggy because she’d just woken up.

‘Good morning, Princess’ he replied, and hearing the sound of his voice, just as hoarse as hers, but still as deep and smooth as ever, felt like coming home. Clarke missed waking up in his arms, his fingertips softly stroking her abdomen and with him pressing a sweet good morning kiss onto her brow. She felt homesick. ‘How’d you sleep?’

‘All right’ she answered, with a sigh. ‘But the bed is kind of big without you.. How about you?’

‘Yeah..’ he agreed, in a whisper. ‘Same’

They were both silent for a moment, both thinking it would’ve been more enjoyable to wake up together that morning, before Clarke asked how he was feeling.

‘Like I’ve been struck by lightning only a couple of days ago’ he tried to joke, followed by a humourless chuckle. ‘But well enough to come over so we can have that talk you promised me’

Clarke was drawing spirals with her index finger in her duvet cover, when she answered a beat later. ‘Okay’ she whispered. ‘What time?’

‘An hour from now?’

‘Sure – come whenever you’re ready’ she answered, before they said goodbye and ended the call.

Clarke spend the next hour nervously pacing around her apartment, biting her nails and trying not to collapse due to her rapidly beating heart, all while forcing down some breakfast, taking a shower and getting everything ready. This would be the first time she’d ever tell anyone about her immortality and she didn’t know what to expect; she wondered how Bellamy would react and what the fallout would be.

It was unnecessary to say that she was nervous as hell. Clarke tried to keep herself busy by texting Jacob she’d be telling Bellamy that morning and by petting Calliope, but thankfully Bellamy didn’t keep her waiting for too long. It wasn’t even an hour after their phone call, before he was entering her apartment.

‘Hey’ Bellamy said. He was tense and his guard was up. Him being uncomfortable and coldish wasn’t unanticipated and Clarke didn’t blame him; technically they were still broken up and he was going to hear Clarke’s explanation for _running away_ from him, not knowing what to expect (and it was something he was _never_ going to expect).

Clarke, feeling more at ease because of his presence, couldn’t control herself, and wrapped her arms around him. It took Bellamy a second before he relaxed a little and returned her hug. They stood there for a moment and Clarke squeezed him tighter when she realised that that could be the last time she would ever feel his body embracing her own.

Clarke knew that she had nothing to gain by telling Bellamy the truth, only a lot to lose, but this wasn’t about her, it was about him. And about treating Bellamy right by being honest and giving him a choice. She inhaled Bellamy’s addictive scent (musky, pine like and just so _him_ ) one last time before letting him go.

Clarke lead him to her kitchen where she’d laid out all of her albums, documents, and trinkets and began her story immediately after Bellamy sat down. She figured that the sooner she began, the sooner it would be over.

Clarke watched Bellamy’s features turn from disbelieve, shock, more disbelieve, more shock, realisation and eventually to anger, as she told him her personal history while handing him her belongings. When she’d finished – Bellamy hadn’t interrupted her once – he jumped out of his chair, and started pacing through her kitchen before coming to a halt.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, making a mess of his ink black curls. Clarke knew him, and knew that wasn’t a good sign; he only did that when he was nervous or upset. So, it was a surprise, when his voice was completely emotionless when he spoke. ‘You haven’t aged since 1952’

It wasn’t a question, but she answered him anyway. ‘No..’ Clarke whispered in a sorrowful tone.

‘So this is your life? Living a fake life for a decade and then faking your death?’

‘Yes. I—‘ she gasped, her eyes filling with tears. Clarke’s little trip down memory lane had made her vulnerable and emotional, and her voice left her for a second. ‘I don’t have a different choice, Bellamy..’

Bellamy balled up his left hand and angrily pointed his right forefinger at her. His body was trembling with anger and his eyes told her how incredibly upset he was with her. ‘And you were going to do this to _me_ , as well?!’ he yelled, angry.

‘I—‘

‘You were just going to lie, lie and lie to me, before leaving and _breaking_ my heart and _ruining_ my life? _Who does that_?!’ he yelled. ‘How can you be so awful? So cruel?!’

‘I’m sorry’ Clarke sobbed. ‘I never meant for this to happen. Everything between us just moved so quickly and I just can’t think straight when I’m near you and I—‘

‘Don’t give me your pathetic excuses!’ he yelled, tears streaming down his face. ‘You should’ve told me that you weren’t interested in me _from the start_! Or told me some other lie. You knew this would’ve never lead to where I wanted it to!’

‘I know, okay? I know..’ Clarke cried. ‘I just got swept away in everything.. I know I should’ve never started anything with you, but I liked being with you and before I knew it I was in love with you—‘

‘But you were still going to leave me, after I told you I loved you. After I introduced you to my family’

‘I didn’t have a _choice_ , Bellamy!’ she begged him to understand. ‘I can’t give you anything. I want you to have a life, a real one – and I can’t give you that. I have four years left, maybe five; how’s that enough to give you what you want? What you deserve?’

‘And yet, you acted like you would!’

‘Because I wanted to, so bad – you made me forget I can never have anything.. I love you Bellamy, and I want everything with you..’ she cried, and added in a broken whisper, ‘But it’s just not possible..’

They were both silent, both crying and staring at the other. Bellamy’s brown orbs betrayed his anger, pain and misery; Clarke could see in his eyes that she’d just broken his dreams. Her blue ones displayed her regret, her plea for understanding and her own broken heart.

‘I’m going to go now’ Bellamy said in a whisper, determined, defeated.

‘Bellamy, no, please don’t go’ she begged. She knew there was nothing left for him at her apartment, in her life, that she could offer him, but she couldn’t bear to watch him leave. Her pleas were ignored, as Bellamy turned around and left her, before Clarke was able to get out of her chair.

*

Clarke wasn’t worried Bellamy would tell someone else; she trusted him completely. Jacob wasn’t worried either, because he figured no one would ever believe Bellamy if he spilled the beans.

All Clarke was worried about was Bellamy _himself_ , and if he would ever get over the pain she caused him. If he could ever look her in the eye again and not hate her. If she hadn’t damaged him beyond repair.  

If she’d ever sleep soundly again without him lying next to her in bed.

*

It was after the third night of crying herself to sleep that the loud buzz of her doorbell startled Clarke awake. She wasn’t all too pleased with the intrusion; it was 3am in the morning and Clarke had just fallen asleep after finishing her first 10 hour shift after the accident. Clarke contemplated ignoring her visitor, but only two people knew where she lived, Jacob and Bellamy, and since it was 3am, it could be important.

The sound of her doorbell filled her apartment again and again before she reached her door and found Bellamy on the other side.

‘Bell?’ she asked, weary and confused.

He looked horrible. There were dark circles under his eyes, he hadn’t shaved in days, his curls were greasy and he reeked of booze. But the worst was the hollow look in his eyes, the nothingness; even the golden flecks around his pupils seemed weaker. ‘Princess..’ he sighed, seemingly relieved, before he stumbled into her apartment.

‘Bell, what are you doing?’ she asked tentatively.

He turned to her and stepped closer and his intense gaze bored into hers. He slowly raised his hand and palmed her cheek. ‘I love you’ he slurred and Clarke bit her lip to prevent herself from bursting out into tears.

‘Bellamy, I love you too, that’s why we can’t—‘

‘You told me you have five more years’ he interrupted her. ‘Please spent them with _me_..’

Clarke opened her mouth to object, but Bellamy looked so broken, she didn’t have the heart to do so. ‘We’ll talk about it in the morning’ she whispered instead, and he happily agreed. Her hand easily found his in the dark and she lead him towards her bedroom, where they both laid down on her bed.

Feeling Bellamy’s arms around her, smelling his familiar scent and hearing the comforting sound of him breathing next to her, made her fall asleep in seconds.

*

Clarke woke up with Bellamy wrapped around her and everything in the world seemed right again. Bellamy’s hold around her tightened and he kissed the top of her ear from behind her. ‘Good morning, Princess’ he whispered, and the sound of his voice made Clarke suppress a shiver.

‘Bell—‘

‘Do you have some aspirin?’ he grumbled.

‘In the kitchen’ she answered. ‘You want some breakfast?’

‘Yes, please’

They made their way to the kitchen, where Bellamy took some aspirin, before they began their familiar routine with Clarke making pancakes and Bellamy making coffee before setting the table.

‘No wonder your pancakes are even better than mine: you had 90 years of practice’ Bellamy said around a bite of his food, after they sat down with their freshly made breakfast.

‘Well, it did take me fifty years and working in a diner to master this pancake recipe, but the results speak for themselves, so it was worth it’ she joked and Bellamy cracked a smile.

Clarke hadn’t felt that well rested and relaxed in days, and she enjoyed her warm pancakes even more because she got to spend it in a comfortable silence with Bellamy. But, she knew it wouldn’t be long before they had to address the elephant in the room.

‘How was work?’ Bellamy asked.

‘It was nice, I was glad to be back’ Clarke answered. ‘It was great seeing Jasper, Monty and Roma again. Everyone asked about you..’ she trailed off and Bellamy gave her a weak attempt to a smile. Bellamy hadn’t been back to work since the accident and wouldn’t be back for a week or so. His burns needed more time to heal and he still had a post-surgery check-up planned; Clarke had more lucky.

‘I don’t think they know we _uhh_ —‘ _broke up_ , she left the words unsaid, but Bellamy understood nonetheless.

‘Technically speaking we didn’t’ he pointed out in a low voice.

‘No, I guess not’ Clarke said to the coffee cup in her hands. ‘Maybe we should make it official then..’

‘Or maybe we shouldn’t’ Bellamy said, his brown eyes filled with a determination that felt like a punch to her gut.

‘Bellamy—‘ she objected.

‘Clarke’ he said in a pleading tone.

‘Please, don’t make it harder than it already is..’ she begged, her heart aching in a way it never had before.

‘You told me you loved me’ he started.

‘I do..’

‘You told me you had five more years left – spend them with _me_ ’ there was a hint of desperation in his voice.

Clarke let out a sigh and a sadness overtook her being that left her on the brink of tears. ‘Come on, Bell, you know that’s not possible. You said it yourself, this can never lead to where we both want this to..’

‘I just— I just want _you_ , Princess. You’re it for me and I’d rather be with you for only a couple of years than none at all. Even if we have to end it anyway. I need you in my life, Clarke’

‘Five years is _nothing_ , Bell, take it from me. It would be incredibly foolish to spend that together. We could never build something serious, and that’s what you should do with your life—‘

‘Exactly, it’s _my_ life – I get to decide whatever I want to do with it’ he interrupted her, upset. ‘Be honest with me Clarke: don’t you want to spend the next couple of years with me?’

‘Of course I do!’ she said heatedly. ‘But in 5 years you’ll be 37 years old. Don’t you want to have the dog, the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence with your spouse? Do you really want to start all over at that point in your life?’

‘I don’t care about any of that if it’s not with you’ he said stubbornly.

‘Bell..’ she begged.

‘I’m sorry, Clarke, but it’s true. I had relationships before you, I’ve dated a lot, and no one else has made me feel what you make me feel. No one else made me hate going to sleep, or has made me love cooking dinner together, or made me enjoy classical music’ if his words didn’t make her love him even more, the passionate way he spoke them definitely did. His eyes lit up with his conviction and he radiated passion; it send a thrill through her body. But that was who Bellamy was. The guy was heartfelt, inspiring and had a way with words that could make people do whatever he saw fit. Even Clarke.

‘I just don’t get why we should spend the next five years being unhappy if we don’t have to be’ he continued. ‘You spend your entire life running away to survive, but life should be about more than just surviving. Stay with me Clarke, stay with me and choose to _live_ ’

Clarke couldn’t do anything to stop the tears from streaming down her face, because Bellamy was right. She might’ve lived for over 89 years, but she hadn’t truly _lived_. She’d only done everything she could do to _survive_. There never was time in her life to stop and smell the roses.

He wrapped his hand around hers, and she was again surprised by the small temperature difference between them since the accident. Bellamy squeezed her hand for comfort and that was what pushed her over the edge to say yes. Not only because she desperately wanted to stop and smell the roses, but because she wanted to stop and smell them with _him_.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke was leaning against the bedroom door frame, while she watched Bellamy redo his tie multiple times.

It was a couple of months after they decided to spend the next five years together, and even if Clarke felt like she was holding Bellamy back, he had made that decision on his own, knowing fully well what the consequences were. He was happy now and she was too, and Clarke hoped that would at least count for something.

Clarke walked over to him, an amused smile gracing her lips, and she patted his hands away. ‘Here, let me’ she said as she took his tie in her hands and swiftly tied it into a neat knot. ‘You have no reason to be nervous’

‘I’m not’ he insisted, but just like the second time he asked her out, the nervous tapping of his fingers against his thigh, told her otherwise.

‘Good, because Jacob has wanted to meet you for forever and he’s already really fond of you, so you don’t have to worry’ Clarke smiled as she brushed away a non-existent piece of lint off his shoulders.  

When Clarke looked back up at Bellamy, the adoration in his eyes took her breath away. His hand found hers and their fingers automatically intertwined, which made her smile. ‘I’m really happy I finally get to meet him’ Bellamy shared. ‘I mean, the fact that he’s your son and not your godfather definitely changes everything, but I always knew he was important to you, so I’m really happy you’re finally introducing us’

Clarke’s smile widened. ‘I am too’ she confessed. ‘I’ve never had someone important enough to introduce to Jacob, but _you_ are, Bellamy’ she leaned up to catch Bellamy’s lips in her own, and gave him a sweet kiss. ‘I’m actually really excited about the two of you officially getting to know each other’

Their lips met again as Bellamy kissed her. ‘Then let’s go’ he brought his lips to the hand he was still holding and kissed her knuckles, and the two of them headed to the restaurant where they were supposed to meet her son.

The three of them were having diner in “Monroe’s Cuisine”, a French restaurant in a more secluded part of town. The building was established in 1903, where it was built by a British family that used it as a vacation home. In 1943 it was sold to the Monroe family, who transformed it into a lovely restaurant. Clarke and Jacob had been there multiple times over the years and the food had always been exquisite, even if there had been several cooks in the 73 years “Monroe’s Brasserie” welcomed hungry guests. But what was of more importance than the tasteful food and décor was that it wasn’t an overcrowded place; guests could comfortably held a private conversation.

Jacob was already there when they arrived, and he got up when he saw his mother and Bellamy entering.

Clarke took her son in her arms and kissed his cheek gently. ‘Hello honey, how’ve you been?’ she smiled, after she whispered in his ear, ‘He’s nervous, be nice’

Jacob gave her a reassuring smile. ‘I’ve been great’ he answered, before turning to Bellamy. ‘Nice to finally meet you, Bellamy. My mother has told me a lot about you’

‘All good things, I hope’ Bellamy replied, as smooth as ever, when he shook Jacob’s hand.

‘Most of them were’ Jacob chuckled easily, and if Clarke had felt even a bit of nerves about them meeting, they all disappeared when she saw how easily Bellamy and Jacob interacted.

The three of them sat down at the table Jacob had gotten them, and a nice, young waiter appeared to hand them the menus and take their drink order.

‘What a nice place – I’ve never been here before’ Bellamy said, as he took in his surroundings.

‘Jacob and I have been here a handful of times’ Clarke told him. ‘The first time was to celebrate Jacob’s acceptance to Columbia, in 1966. Do you remember, honey?’ she asked her son.

‘Of course, but the walls had a soft purple wallpaper, had they not?’

Clarke chuckled. ‘Yes, I remember telling you how much I liked the colour, so when I moved to Paris I bought wallpaper for my apartment in the same shade. But this beige colour is definitely an improvement, especially from that lime green colour they had in the eighties’

Jacob laughed and looked over to Bellamy. ‘How weird is this for you?’

‘Extremely weird’ Bellamy answered without missing a beat. Even after knowing for several months that Jacob was her child, he still seemed a little bit in shock. ‘My girlfriend has a son who’s forty years older than she is’

‘No, he only looks like that. I kept all the good genes to myself’ Clarke winked.

‘But now that I know you two are related, I see the similarities’ Bellamy continued.

‘Really?’ Clarke asked, pleasantly surprised.

‘Yes’ Bellamy turned to her and gave her a loving smile, ‘he has your nose’

‘And my love for art’ Clarke supplied, returning his smile.

The rest of the dinner was spend talking about Jacob and Bellamy’s jobs, their families (Bellamy told Jacob about Octavia, and Jacob told Bellamy about his daughters) and the Yankees; a subject the two men immediately bonded over. Clarke reminisced about the baseball games she’d gone to with Jacob both before and after she had to fake identities. She received multiple laughs from both men when she told them about what type of trouble she had encountered when she’d just moved to a new country, and suffered because of a language barrier.

All in all, it was a successful evening; just like Clarke knew it would be. She had enjoyed the food very much, and the wine was definitely a treat, but it was only such a perfect night because she got to spend it with her two favourite people in the world. Clarke hadn’t had so much fun since she learned she was frozen.

Bellamy had been right when he made her realise she hadn’t truly lived, but that night she knew she had.

*

The next few months passed in a similar fashion. Clarke had lunch with Jacob every week and once a month they had dinner with Bellamy. On the Friday nights that Lincoln performed with his band, Bellamy and Clarke were found at “Grounders”; Octavia still hated Clarke’s guts, but the brunette eventually warmed up to her again when she found Clarke at Bellamy’s side week after week, unwavering.

Clarke and Bellamy knew their time together was limited, so they made the most of what time they did have. When they weren’t working in the hospital, they hung out at Clarke’s apartment cooking dinner together, or relaxed on the couch while Bellamy read, Clarke sketched and with Calliope in between them, or had a night of Netflix and Chill.

Once a fortnight Bellamy and Clarke went on a date to a play, baseball game, movie, museum, gallery or whatever they felt like. Clarke loved spending time with Bellamy, loved _him_ , and she couldn’t remember a time where she’d been so happy. She lived in the same town as her son, woke up every morning with the guy that made her feel loved, wanted and _alive_ , had a cute cat and a great job. Clarke dreaded the moment where it would all end, where she had to say goodbye, but she tried not to waste her time thinking about that. She was going to spend it doing way more fun stuff.

‘I have a surprise for you’ Clarke announced one night, voice hoarse, when she sat on Bellamy’s lap.

Bellamy hummed, distracted, while he trailed kisses from her collarbone to her ear. He sucked on her earlobe, eliciting a sharp inhale of breath from Clarke, before whispering in her ear. ‘Is that so?’

He made it very hard for Clarke to concentrate – the feeling of his hard body against hers, his musky scent, the sound of his gruff voice; it all distracted her deliciously – but she made do. ‘…Yes’ she breathed. ‘It’s in my bedroom’   

Bellamy made a sound of protest when she stood up, but stopped complaining when she made him follow her. In her bedroom, Clarke undressed herself, enjoying the sight of Bellamy’s dark and heated gaze taking in her naked skin.

‘Take off your clothes’ Clarke said in a commanding tone, and Bellamy smirked, as he hastily stripped himself of his clothing.

Clarke gave him the box that had been waiting on them on her nightstand. ‘Body paint’ she explained, raising an eyebrow in challenge. ‘And it’s edible’

Bellamy groaned. ‘Jesus, Princess..’ he slanted his lips on hers and roughly pushed her on her bed, towering over her. He kissed her long and dirty, and when they parted both of them breathed heavily, and his dark eyes hungrily took her in, making her squirm under him. ‘Patience, love. I promise to make you feel good, but first I’m going to have my fun with these paints’

Clarke smiled, as his words made a warmth spread through her. ‘Be my guest’

Bellamy dipped his finger in the red paint and brought it to her abdomen. He tasted the liquid, before applying it onto her. ‘Cherry’ he whispered, and his voice made her shiver.

Clarke gasped in surprise when Bellamy began to draw something on her belly (the paint was colder than she’d expected), before she relaxed under the sensation of Bellamy’s fingers softly stroking her skin.

Bellamy seemed eager to fill her abdomen with little flowers, of all sizes and colours, making Clarke giggle out of pure happiness, which was a surprise – Clarke hadn’t known she was capable of making a sort like sound. But, the funny flowers that decorated her skin and Bellamy’s ticklish touch brought it out of her.

It was a relief when Bellamy had finally reached her nipples. His touch had made her significantly aroused and she craved his attention. Her nipples immediately pebbled when his paint slicked fingers came in contact with them, and Clarke let out a moan.

‘Bellamy..’ she begged, needing more.

‘Almost, love’ he promised her. ‘You have the best tits ever, babe’ Bellamy said in awe, as he took his sweet time covering both of her breaths in the paints, before he gave her some light kisses. Every time she tried to deepen it, he pulled away, teasing her, successfully making Clarke go insane.

Clarke’s sex yearned for Bellamy’s touch, and she could already feel her cum dripping between her thighs, so she desperately rubbed her cunt against his strong leg, looking for friction. His hard length, that was pressed against her leg, started twitching and Bellamy let out a torturous groan. ‘Princess..’ he warned, but she begged for mercy.

Bellamy’s lips latched onto her right nipple then, and the sigh of relief that left Clarke’s lips turned into a loud moan when he parted her folds and pushed two fingers inside of her. _Thank God.._ He started working her clit with his thumb, using her own fluids as a lube, and the ministrations made her buck under him. Bellamy waited until she’d settled back down and then repeated the move, this time circling her nub with his thumb, then stroking back and forth across it until she exhaled a moan with every swipe.

Clarke spread herself as wide as possible to Bellamy as he stroked her up and down with his thumb, varying the pressure on her clit with each pass, while still sucking on her nipple. She could feel his finger pass through her wetness and spread the slickness everywhere it touched, becoming soaked, and the sensation it gave changing as his thumb became wetter.

Bellamy moved his thick fingers around in her pussy and licked the paint of her nipples. ‘Strawberry’ he sighed, after he started sucking her left tit.

‘Oh, _fuck_ , Bellamy’ Clarke groaned because of all the sensations that went through her body . ‘I— love— your fingers’ she gasped, as he finger fucked her. ‘ _Oh my God_ , Bell. You’re so— _good_ ’

‘That’s right, baby’ Bellamy growled and he curled his fingers inside of her, hitting her right on her g-spot, making her scream his name in pleasure.

‘I— can’t take it— anymore’  she panted, after he repeated the move again and again. ‘Make me— _cum,_ Bell’

‘Ask it— like a good girl, Princess’ Bellamy demanded in a low, hoarse voice. ‘Good girls always get what they want’

‘Please— please—, Bell’ she begged. ‘I _need_ you’

Bellamy pecked her lips. ‘As you— wish, Princess’ he said, voice low and husky, before rewarding her by making small, tight swirls at the top of Clarke’s clit, knowing just where to tease her for maximum pleasure, until she gripped the sheets and moaned his name like it was a prayer.

Clarke’s orgasm came suddenly and hit her like a wave of pleasure, making her toes curl and her back bow up from the bed. Her hands clutched the covers tightly under her as she rocked her pelvis with each pulsing sensation. Bellamy kissed all the flowers on her body until she relaxed back down and then he leaned over her to softly kiss her lips.

‘God, you’re beautiful when you cum’ he said, but Clarke was unable to speak. Bellamy leaned back, resting beside her as she reached for his fingers, locking them with hers. Her body was still shooting off tiny aftershocks and she was still aching for him, needing him even more. Clarke’s eyes fell to his cock. Pre-cum was dripping from its head, while it stood proudly and hard, making Clarke’s mouth water.

‘Bellamy’ she whispered, squeezing his fingers with hers.

‘Yes, Princess?’

‘I want you inside of me’ the words she spoke with her sultry voice made his cock tremble with need. Bellamy took her upper lip in his and bit it softly. ‘Good’ he breathed.

He kneeled between her still open legs, laying his body atop of hers to meet her lips in a slow kiss, his tongue fully exploring her mouth and she could taste all the fruity flavours he decorated her with. Clarke could feel the shaft of his hard cock pushing against her wetness. Breaking their kiss, Bellamy looked down at her body, fingers swirling in the still wet paint across her torso, sliding his palms up over her breasts making Clarke groan beneath him.

‘Ready, babe?’ he asked, a mischievous glint in his dark eyes. Clarke bit her lip, as the anticipation came to an all-time high within her.

Before she could answer, he slammed himself inside of her and he started a rhythm that made her see stars.

He suddenly stopped and pulled himself out of her, making Clarke whine in protest. ‘Don’t worry, Princess. I know what I’m doing’ Bellamy promised her, making her cunt ache for him even more.

With a small forward movement she could feel him pushing against her slick entrance and, with a maddening slowness, he entered her, his mouth dropping as he pushed past her slick walls until they were pelvis to pelvis.

With that same deliberate slowness, Bellamy pulled back and then into her again, pushing as deep as he could and then holding there, bodies locked together, teasing them both with the need to move. Clarke whined deep in her chest and that made him start moving again.

From that angle Bellamy’s penetration was deep and he began making long, slow strokes, grinding against Clarke at the peak of each thrust and stimulating her clit until she was moaning once more beneath him. With each noise she made, she could feel his cock twitch deep inside of her and she squeezed around him, encouraging him to speed up a little. His pace increased, fingers sliding up to play with her nipples, pulling and twisting gently until Clarke was panting slightly, squeezing her walls tighter around him.

With a grunt, Bellamy slammed hard into her, filling the air between them by telling how fucking gorgeous she was and how tight she felt, as he bucked his hips fast against hers. Clarke told him how she loved his dick, and how perfect he felt inside of her. He was hard and thick and warm, and it effectively made Clarke forget everything around her except for Bellamy himself. Bellamy kept the dizzying rhythm of his push and pull until she came hard; that orgasm was even better than the previous one.

Bellamy let loose a final grunt and came with her, shouting Clarke’s name in ecstasy, finally getting the orgasm he so much deserved and craved. He pushed and pushed through his orgasm until his legs shook, and then he pulled out of her and collapsed on top of her. Clarke wrapped her arms around him, laughing gently. They laid together, bodies sticking to each other from the paint and the sheen of sweat that was covering them both, until Clarke pushed Bellamy shoulders, nudging him to get off of her.

‘You really do know what you’re doing’ she teased, still panting hard.

‘Don’t sound so surprised’ he said, also trying to catch his breath, making Clarke laugh.

‘I’m not’ she assured him, before kissing his lips. ‘I love you’

Bellamy smiled cockily. ‘I love you too, Princess’

*

‘I was thinking’ Bellamy started one night, when the two of them were relaxing in his bathtub, ‘that it would be a good idea if we moved in together. Great even’

Clarke tensed. ‘Bellamy…’ she said with regret in her voice, and she closed her eyes, hoping the darkness would sooth her pain a bit. ‘I don’t think it would..’

‘Clarke—‘

‘It will only make things harder’ she cut him off. ‘When we have to—’ _end things_. She swallowed to get the lump out of her throat. ‘say goodbye..’

‘It will be hard anyway’ Bellamy countered. ‘It doesn’t matter, Clarke, not to me. If we would break up tomorrow or in five years, or if we had shared an apartment or not during those years, the pain will be the same...’ Clarke couldn’t disagree with that, so she kept silent. ‘And think of how convenient it would be; we already spend all of our time together – this would make it way easier, and you’d save a lot of money if you didn’t have to waste it on rent’

Clarke hummed. ‘It’s up to you, Bell’ she conceded. ‘But, just—Think about your future, okay?’

‘I’ll promise I’ll kick you out when I find someone else’ he joked, but it wasn’t really funny; to neither one of them.

‘Good..’ she whispered. ‘Why do you always ask these type of questions to me in bath?’ she wondered out loud.

‘Because it’s easier for me to convince you here’ he said smug, and she understood what he meant when he squeezed her clit gently, making her spasm in surprise. 

‘Fuck, Bell..’ she moaned, and he kissed her shoulder tenderly as he began to get her off.

*

It was a month later, in July, when Clarke and Jacob celebrated his 67th birthday together by having lunch. She gave her son a new watch as a birthday gift and the broad smile he gave her when he unwrapped his present, made her heart fill with warmth. He looked just like his father.

‘How’s living with Bellamy?’ Jacob asked when their food had arrived.

‘It’s great’ Clarke answered around a bite of her tuna salad. ‘I finally have all my stuff settled in, and his apartment is a hundred times better than that old shoebox I used to live in. Calliope doesn’t know what to do with all that space’ she joked, and Jacob chuckled.

‘I’m glad that the two of you have decided to move in together’ Jacob told her.

‘Yes, me too’ Clarke said. ‘I don’t like being apart from him and now we barely are’ she admitted with a blush. ‘Besides, now I get to save some money for you to inherit in a couple of years’

‘Mom, please—‘

‘The plan hasn’t changed, Jacob’ Clarke whispered to her salad.

‘Why not? You have an infinite amount of years to your disposal, Mother’ her son tried, stubbornly. ‘Why not add a few more? For me? For Bellamy?’

‘I’m doing that for all three of us, honey..’ Clarke replied, already feeling herself well up. ‘I can’t go on like this for forever, you know that. And eventually I have to let Bellamy go, he deserves a real life, one like you have – I can’t hold him back forever. And your life would be so much easier if you didn’t have to keep lying to Harper about me being your cousin’s daughter, or for you to keep going to that lawyer to get me a new identity. What if they eventually go to the police?’ her voice betraying the panic that was starting within her. ‘I don’t want to be some Guinea pig, and I definitely don’t want you to go to _jail_..’

‘Those Wallace lawyers aren’t going to report us’ Jacob answered calmly, and he squeezed his mother’s hand as a means to comfort her. ‘If the authorities figure out what’s really happening in that law firm, they’ll be locked away for _years_. You have nothing to worry about, Mother’

‘I guess..’ she sighed, and she rubbed her brow, hoping to prevent an upcoming headache.

‘Does Bellamy know about your _plan_?’

‘No, and I’d like to keep it that way’ she let out a tired sigh. ‘Honey please, I’m getting upset and I definitely don’t want to discuss this on your birthday of all days. Can we please talk about something else?’

‘I got a new commission yesterday’ Jacob immediately said, respecting his mother’s request. ‘Some suit on Wall Street wants a painting of his granddaughter’

‘Honey, that’s amazing’ Clarke said, her bad mood disappearing like snow in the sun. This wasn’t Jacob’s first commission, and Clarke knew it wouldn’t be his last, but she felt just as proud as the first time he told her he got an order. ‘Congratulations, I’m so proud of you’ she smiled brightly, and that smile didn’t leave for the rest of their lunch.

*

‘Babe, what’s wrong?’ Bellamy asked concerned, when he found Clarke crying on their bed, holding her and Raven’s photo booth picture and the bracelet her ex-girlfriend gave her.

‘Is Raven happy?’ Clarke asked, upset, instead of answering.

Bellamy walked over to her and sat down on the edge of their bed. He put his hand on one of her feet and soothingly stroked her ankle with his thumb. ‘She is’ he answered. ‘I know you feel guilty for breaking up with her all those years ago, but she’s had a good life. Raven became very successful and loved; just like you wanted’

Clarke wiped some tears off her cheeks. ‘But how were those years after I left? Was she very unhappy? I just— I feel so terrible when I think about what I did.. What I must’ve put her through..’ Clarke looked up at Bellamy, finding compassion and understanding in his eyes. ‘I want to tell her’

Her announcement took Bellamy by surprise and his eyes widened in shock. Clarke had been thinking more and more lately about telling Raven the truth. If Raven wanted or needed closure, Clarke wanted her to have it. And this would be the time to tell Raven the truth, since Clarke was living her last life; she didn’t have to keep her secret for another three decades. But, first she wanted to hear Bellamy’s thoughts on the subject.

‘Are you sure?’ he asked, and she nodded in response.

‘What do you think?’ Clarke asked softly and Bellamy stopped the movements of his thumb on her ankle and squeezed it reassuringly.

‘I support you in every decision you make, Clarke’ he told her, even if he didn’t need to. ‘So, if you want to tell Raven, I have your back’

Clarke dried her tears and smiled gratefully at him. ‘Thank you’ she sighed, before she leaned forward and kissed him gently. ‘I love you’ she murmured against his lips. 

Bellamy’s lips followed hers for another kiss and when they broke apart, he repeated the sentiment to her. After that he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, until all that Clarke felt was cherished and warm.

*

Clarke got the chance to tell Raven everything in September. Roan had to travel to New York for business and Raven decided to come along, so Bellamy and Clarke invited her over for lunch at their place when Roan was in a meeting.

Clarke was just as nervous as she was when she told Bellamy, possibly even more because of _how_ she ended the three year long relationship she’d had with Raven. But, Clarke didn’t care for her nerves; she wasn’t backing down.

After Raven had arrived Clarke confessed to Raven that there was something she wanted to tell her. Bellamy excused himself to go to his study and the two women sat down on the couch. Raven seemed both confused and intrigued as Clarke started her story, but as the story progressed, confusion remained and disbelieve replaced Raven’s initial fascination. Clarke handed Raven the photos, diplomas, IDs, and everything else she’d shown Bellamy all those months ago to back up her story.

At first, Raven didn’t believe her. ‘You’re lying. It’s not possible..’ she said, upset, while shaking her head, but Clarke proved herself when she gave Raven a detailed description of the apartment she rented when Raven knew her, and of their colleagues at the diner.

Raven gaped at her, tears in her brown eyes. ‘How is this possible?’ she whispered.

Clarke shrugged, blinking away her own tears. ‘I have no clue’ she admitted.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Cathie?’ Raven sniffed. ‘Or _Clarke_?’ she added in a somewhat more accusing tone.

‘Clarke…’ she confirmed and she swallowed before continuing. ‘Because I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell anyone, Raven. I wanted to tell you, _so_ bad – _please_ believe me when I say that – but I couldn’t risk the wrong people finding out’

‘You didn’t trust me’ Raven stated, cold.

‘No, I did’ Clarke rushed to say. ‘But you knowing could also be a danger to you—‘

‘Than why did you tell Bellamy? Why would you risk him like that?’

‘I never planned to fall in love with either one of you, I never planned to find myself in a situation that I loved someone so much that I wanted to tell them everything’ Clarke desperately tried to explain herself, for Raven to understand where she was coming from. ‘But, I did, twice. You have no idea how lonely I was, Raven. How happy you both made me, so I decided to be selfish—‘

‘Yes, you were!’ Raven spat. ‘You broke my heart, Clarke, and now you’re going to do the same thing to Bellamy! You can’t give him anything, only heartbreak; don’t do that to him!’

Clarke felt some tears fall down her cheeks, but let them be. ‘I know..’ she whispered. ‘He knows that, too, and yet, he chose to stay with me’

‘Why?’

‘Because I make him happier than he’s ever been’ Clarke answered bluntly, before adding in a softer tone, ‘And the same goes for me..’ Raven pressed her lips in a thin line and nodded, once, but didn’t comment. ‘I— I’m still planning on staying in New York for a couple of years and Bellamy asked me to spend those years with him. He promised me, that if he meets someone else, he’ll tell me. I’ll leave immediately, because I want him to have what you got with Roan.. That’s why I ended things with you in the first place; because I knew that I couldn’t give you what you deserved’

‘You really do love Bellamy, don’t you?’

‘Yes’ Clarke answered without missing a beat. ‘I never planned to, love either one of you, that is. But, I guess the heart just wants what it wants..’ Clarke’s shoulders slumped and her gaze dropped to her folded hands. ‘And then, after the accident with Bellamy, I couldn’t just leave him anymore..’ _like how I left you_ , the words were left unsaid, but hung heavily in the air. Clarke felt ashamed, but looked up to Raven so she could give the woman what she deserved; an apology. ‘I’m so sorry, Raven. I truly am, for all the hurt I caused you. But please believe me when I say that I loved you, so much..’

A tear fell down Raven’s cheek, but she stubbornly wiped it away. ‘Why did you tell me now?’ she asked, in a small voice, thick with unshed tears. ‘After all these years?’

Clarke knew she couldn’t tell Raven the real reason why she was telling her the full story now, but the answer she gave wasn’t a lie either. ‘Because I wanted you to know the truth. I loved you, but I couldn’t be with you, and I wanted you to know why that really was.. Even if it is three decades too late..’

Both of the women were silent for a long moment, lost in thought and battling their tears. ‘I did get that with Roan’ Raven confirmed, breaking the silence. ‘Someone who loves me for all that I am, who always has my back, makes me laugh. Roan gave me a love and happiness that lasts a lifetime; a lifetime we’ve spend together. That’s how I know Bellamy’s making a huge mistake by staying with you’

Raven said the exact words out loud that had been haunting Clarke the moment she got back together with Bellamy. She could feel her face drain of colour and her heart beating wildly in her chest. ‘I know..’ she whispered, finally letting her tears stream down freely.

‘I want Bellamy to be happy, he’s one of the most important people in my life’ Raven started. ‘Has been for a long time. And I’m happy he’s happy now, but I want him to have his own happily ever after; just like I had’

Clarke nodded and tried to wipe some tears of her face. ‘Me too..’

‘Than do what’s best, Clarke’ she said quietly, before she stood up. ‘I’m going back to my hotel, I need to be alone for a moment’

‘Yeah, sure’ Clarke said as she walked Raven to the door.

‘Thanks for telling me, Clarke’ Raven said as she got ready to leave. ‘And I want you to know that I have no regrets where you are concerned. I loved you very much and you made me very happy when we were dating. The ending was horrible, but the years before that were amazing and I wouldn’t trade those for anything..’

Clarke smiled in thanks and gave Raven a hug when the woman had put her coat on. ‘Me too, Rae’ she said in Raven’s ear, getting reacquainted with a Raven Reyes hug. ‘You made all the bad go away for a while’

*

‘Bellamy, you’re being ridiculous!’ Clarke spat, almost in a run as she tried to keep up with him, which was no easy task in the damn heels she was wearing.

Twenty seconds ago Clarke and Bellamy had been in the warm and dry apartment of Octavia and Lincoln, where they’d been invited over for dinner. Clarke had given the hosts some red wine, Lincoln had made steaks and Octavia had actually smiled at Clarke when they walked in – all signs that assured Clarke it was going to be a great evening.

Until Bellamy lost it when Octavia told, absolutely overjoyed, that she and Lincoln were engaged.

‘To get married?’ Bellamy yelled, furious.

Octavia’s face immediately transformed from one emitting happiness, to one emitting anger. ‘Of course to get _married_! As in, we’re making a commitment to each other for _life_ , because we want to. That’s how much we love each other!’ she yelled back, and then everything blew up.

The Blakes were screaming their heads off, Bellamy adamant that his sister was making a mistake by getting married, and said sister told her big brother that he had no fucking clue what he was talking about and that he could fuck off, so that’s what Bellamy did.

And Clarke ran after him, in her high heels. ‘Can you please slow down before I break my neck?’ she pleaded and Bellamy came to a halt, suddenly, apparently over walking in all of its forms.

Clarke came to stand in front of him, so she could look him right in his eyes. ‘What the hell is your problem?’ she demanded, crossing her arms.

Bellamy glared at her, but she didn’t waver and glared right back. ‘I don’t know if you heard what Octavia said, Clarke, but she’s getting married – _that’s_ my problem!’

‘ _Oh_ , don’t worry!’ Clarke sneered. ‘I heard and saw _everything_! How Octavia shared the most _wonderful_ and _important_ news she ever got to share with _you_ , her _only_ brother, her only _family_ , and how you told her it was the biggest mistake she would ever make. No, you didn’t _tell_ her, you _yelled_ it!’ Clarke angrily poked her finger in Bellamy’s firm chest. ‘You couldn’t have done something more awful, Bellamy Blake! You broke her heart!’

Bellamy had the dignity to look embarrassed and even a little regretful, but Bellamy was nothing if not proud. ‘She’s too young!’ he blurted out. ‘She doesn’t know what marriage really means, what kind of commitment it is’

‘She’s 24!’

‘Exactly!’ Bellamy said, as if Clarke had just help prove his point.

‘When I was 24 I was a widow and a single mother’ Clarke pointed op out, calmly, curious to see what he would say to that.

Bellamy seemed to deflate and his gaze dropped to her shoes. ‘Yeah, well..’ he started, awkwardly. ‘That was a different time’

‘That may be so, but love is still love. And Octavia and Lincoln love each other very much; it’s obvious’ Clarke said. ‘What’s this really about?’

‘I just don’t want her to make a mistake, not something as big as getting married. I’m supposed to prevent her from that’ Bellamy continued, stubbornly. ‘Lincoln’s too old’ he decided and Clarke rolled her eyes at him.

‘You really want to talk about age differences in a relationship?’ Clarke said, and one of the corners of her mouth lifted up in an amused smile.

‘That’s not funny’ Bellamy immediately said, irritated.

‘Come on, Bell’ Clarke urged. ‘Tell me what’s really bothering you’

‘Nothing, I’m just afraid Octavia—‘

‘Is this about what Raven said?’

‘..No’

‘So, yes..’ Clarke whispered downhearted, even if she understood where he was coming from. ‘You know I’m okay with breaking up, if you want to’

‘Yeah, well, I’m not _okay_ with it, Clarke’ he said upset. ‘I’m not okay with it _at all_..’

‘I know’ Clarke swallowed away her upcoming tears. ‘Me too..’

‘I want to have what Raven and Roan have. I want to make that commitment for life, out of love, just like Octavia and Lincoln are about to do, with you. I want that with _you_ , Princess’

‘Raven was right—‘

‘No, she wasn’t!’ he interrupted her, a desperate edge to his voice.

‘She was, Bell, and we both know it.. We should have never done this, never. This will wreck you, _I_ will wreck you, and I never wanted that to—‘ she was close to being hysterical, and far from being done talking, but Bellamy stopped her rambling when he slanted his lips on hers.

Bellamy kissed her, hard, desperate for his message to come across. ‘You can never wreck me, Clarke Griffin’ he breathed, when they broke apart. ‘Your bluntness, stubbornness and impatience have given me so much happiness, that the time I spend with you has been the best of my life. You and our time together will always make me smile, so let’s not shorten it’

Clarke sniffed and whispered, ‘Only if you’re sure..’

Bellamy blinked, once, intertwined their hands and kissed her brow. ‘I want to spend eons with you, Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, but I can’t have that, so I want to have those 5 years, at least’ Bellamy’s eyes, as always, were the reflection of his soul and told her how sincere he was.

Clarke squeezed his hands and kissed his lips. ‘I want to spend eons with you, too, Bellamy Bradbury Blake. _I love you_ ’ she whispered against his lips, before kissing him again. ‘And I’ll love you even more if you go back to Octavia now, and apologise’

Bellamy sighed and rested his forehead against hers. ‘Good, because that’s where I was planning to go now.. Come with me for moral support?’

‘Always’ she promised, and they walked back to Octavia and Lincoln’s place, hand-in-hand. ‘I hope they haven’t finished the wine I gave them yet’ Clarke said.

Bellamy chuckled. ‘Knowing Octavia, you shouldn’t hold your breath’

*

In November Bellamy and Clarke enjoyed a rainy Sunday where the both of them were off the clock and doing the laundry together. Clarke loved doing laundry, especially since the washing machine and dryer had made their entry. There was something about the just cleaned sheets and clothes, the clean and soft feeling of the fabric under her fingertips, the flowery scent that filled the room as they folded the washing, that made Clarke smile, especially if she had Bellamy’s company during the household chore.

‘Charlotte told me a joke yesterday’ Bellamy shared. Charlotte Williams was one of their patients at the paediatric ward, who was brought in with an appendicitis the day before yesterday.

‘Was it a good one?’ Clarke asked, smiling, while she folded a towel.

‘I thought so’

‘But you have a horrible sense of humour’ Clarke teased.

‘Charlotte thought it was funny, too’ Bellamy countered.

‘Well, I do trust _her_ ’  

Bellamy laughed. ‘Okay, so a man went to the doctor to get a physical. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news: He had cancer and Alzheimer's. The man replied, '"Well, at least I don't have cancer."’ Bellamy looked expectantly at Clarke, curious to see what her reaction was. A snort left Clarke’s pink lips, before she started laughing.

‘Okay, yeah, that one was pretty funny’ Clarke agreed, still laughing, before she sobered up when she saw the warm and dreamy look in Bellamy’s eyes. ‘What?’ she asked, still with a smile gracing her features.

‘Nothing, I just remembered the first time I ever heard you laugh. That’s the moment I started falling for you’ Bellamy answered, eyes boring into hers with a faraway look and a sweet smile on his lips, while he brought his hand to her face. His fingers settled into her curls and his thumb stroked her cheek.

‘You sap’ she teased, enjoying the shiver that went through her body as a reaction to his touch. Her own hand found its way to the back of his neck and she pulled him towards her, so she could kiss his lips. Bellamy eagerly responded, and when they broke apart, Clarke demanded that he tell her everything about that moment.

Bellamy chuckled, and Clarke not only enjoyed the sound he made, but also how his eyes were a shade darker than they had been a moment ago and how his lips were now swollen. ‘It was in the hospital, of course, and it was already over a year ago’ he began, his dark eyes holding hers captive. ‘I was filling out a chart at the nurses’ desk, when I heard you laughing. I was in the middle of a 12 hour shift, and I’d just lost a patient, so you can imagine what kind of state I was in…

‘Then, suddenly, this bright, melodic sound pierced through the sky like lightning, catching my attention, and when I looked up, I saw you sitting on a bed with a young patient, reading “Big Friendly Giant”. I’d never seen you smile that brightly before and the boy looked so happy as well. I immediately felt so much better, and all I wanted was to hear you laugh like that again’

Clarke blinked her tears away, and gave him a kiss. ‘That’s definitely a better story than when I started falling for you’

Bellamy looked intrigued. ‘Yeah?’ he asked, spurring her on.

‘It was during one of our millions of fights’ Clarke began, a little flushed. ‘I realised I never met someone as infuriating and smug as you are, or someone with such nice eyes—‘

‘And ass’ Bellamy smirked and she playfully hit his chest, making him laugh. He was never going to let her live that one down.

‘—that I still respected, despite your _flawed_ personality, because I knew you would have my back. Even if you were a total asshole. But, you’re the type of asshole I actually _like_ and when I figured that out, there was no stopping it..’

Bellamy smiled at her, happy. ‘So, it was my ass’

Clarke snorted, and she didn’t even care that she sounded like a pig. ‘Definitely’

*

Rainy and cold November turned into a snowy and even colder December, and the last month of the year was filled with preparations for and celebrating Christmas.

Obviously most of the hours in the month were spend working at the hospital, but the Christmas cheer made the long shifts feel more fleeting than in those other 11 months.

Clarke and Bellamy celebrated Christmas Day with Jacob and his family, and Boxing Day with Octavia and Lincoln. It was by far the best Christmas Clarke had in decades.

Jasper and Maya celebrated their first anniversary by going away for the weekend, which made Bellamy broach the subject of their own upcoming anniversary.

‘When is our anniversary exactly?’ Clarke asked, a little confused. When she thought about it, she couldn’t pinpoint the date exactly. She guessed their anniversary would be the date of their first date, when they made pizza together in Bellamy’s (now their) apartment, but it could also be when they went to the hospital’s Christmas party last year as each other’s date, officially confirming their relationship status to their colleagues. 

Or it could be in between those two moments, when Bellamy told Octavia they were an item, or after, when Clarke told Bellamy the truth about her immortality, or when she packed up all her stuff and she and Calliope moved in with Bellamy.

Bellamy thought it over for a second. ‘I guess we don’t have an exact date, do we?’

‘Not really, no’ Clarke agreed, snuggling closer to him on the couch.

He pushed his glasses up while answering. ‘Well, we technically started dating in November, and by December we told everyone, but we have enough to celebrate in this month—‘

‘So, you want to go for January?’ Clarke asked, unable to stop the yawn from leaving her mouth and her eyelids from dropping. Bellamy’s chest was her favourite pillow, and it had been a very tiring week.  

‘Yes, we have a couple of days off then. We could spend those at the city of love?’

‘You want to travel to Paris?’ Clarke beamed up at him.

‘You’ve lived there for years, I figured I would never get the chance again to go there with my own personal tour guide’

‘Hmmm, yes.. You shouldn’t let an opportunity like that go to waste’ she quipped.

*

December and the year 2016 ended for Clarke and Bellamy in Central Park, where they kissed each other a happy new year under the lights of the bright stars and even brighter fireworks.

At the end of January they stepped into a plane that flew halfway across the globe and landed in Paris. Four days of sightseeing, croissants (plus other French specialties), and amazing sex under the French sky followed, before they reluctantly made their return to the US. Clarke had never enjoyed being abroad so much as she had then.

Bellamy was swamped with work and making sure Octavia’s wedding would be the fairy-tale wedding she always dreamed about having as a child, but he still made sure Clarke got a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s Day. He surprised her with red peonies this time, and Calliope even got some extra tuna from him.

Octavia and Lincoln were going to get married in July, on Raven and Roan’s estate, and even if that was still five months away, it seemed like it hadn’t only taken over the Blakes’ lives, but also Clarke’s. Wedding planning had been much simpler in the forties, when she’d married Wells.

Clarke thought better of bringing this up with Bellamy; she knew it hurt him that Clarke had gotten married once, but could never wed him. So, she pretended like nothing about their situation was out of the ordinary, just like Bellamy always did. Clarke knew it probably wasn’t healthy, but the two of them were really happy together, and that was what it was all about – at least to them.

In March it had been a year since Bellamy had introduced Clarke to his godparents, a year since he first told her he loved her, and a year since they got electrified by the weird, blue thunder bolt. 

Just like the previous year Clarke found herself at the Glazers’ manor, to celebrate Raven and Roan’s wedding anniversary, with Bellamy flanking her. This time around though, Raven wasn’t as pleased to see Clarke.

It was the first time since their conversation in New York, where Clarke had told her about her past, that the two women saw one another again. Where Raven had been welcoming and eager the year before, she now was cold and visibly annoyed by Clarke’s presence. Raven strongly disagreed about Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship, and only the three of them knew exactly why – Lincoln, Roan and Octavia were kept in the dark.

Raven kept pursing her lips in an angry matter at Clarke, and kept making snide remarks about Clarke. It was hurtful towards both Clarke and Bellamy, and confusing to Lincoln, Roan and Octavia, although the cop suspected it had to do with Clarke running out on Bellamy the previous year.

Clarke figured Raven didn’t actually _hate_ her. Not in the real sense of the word, at least. The painting she had given her all those years ago, still decorated the space above the hearth, after all.

Raven used their visit as a possibility to once more speak her mind in the hope of changing Bellamy’s opinion about being with Clarke. It ended in a huge fight between the fiery engineer and the headstrong doctor, where Clarke found Bellamy in their room afterwards, packing their bags, and telling her they were leaving.

‘We’re not leaving, Bell’ Clarke said, voice unwavering, and arms crossed. ‘Stop being so damn dramatic’

‘ _Dramatic_?’ he spat. ‘I’m not being dramatic! I’m sick and tired of Raven putting her nose in our business and trying to end what we have!’

‘She doing that because she loves you—‘

‘Whose side are you on?’ he said, voice angry and accusing.

Clarke rolled her eyes, unimpressed. ‘Don’t be childish, Bellamy. I’m always on your side, even if you’re being ridiculous. Raven loves you and she’s just looking out for you’

‘Maybe she’s just jealous’ he grumbled.

Clarke figured she’d amuse him. ‘Why would she be jealous?’

‘Because she still loves you?’ he replied, like it was the most obvious thing.

‘She doesn’t’ Clarke sighed, before continuing. ‘We loved each other, very much, but that was a long time ago and it was nothing compared to what she has with Roan’

Bellamy took a place on the bed, looking defeated, and Clarke sat down on his lap. His arm wrapped around her middle, supporting her back, and Clarke’s hand travelled to the nape of his neck, where her fingers started playing with his curls. ‘Or what we have’ she said softly, and she kissed his brow. ‘I love you’

Bellamy looked up at her, and walnut brown met sky blue. ‘This year sure has gone by quickly, hasn’t it?’

‘Yes, it has’ she agreed. They were already down to four meagre years; the last year had felt more like a month, instead of the 12 it really had been. ‘Let’s do what we always do – make the best of it. Because we’re not leaving, Bell’ Clarke added, in a somewhat sterner voice.

Bellamy grunted, but didn’t fight her on it.

The rest of the weekend was spend outside on the grounds, celebrating Raven and Roan’s anniversary, and talking about Octavia and Lincoln’s upcoming wedding. It was a good weekend.

*

Jacob was the first one to notice, which seemed the most obvious. Her son had known Clarke the longest, he’d been gone for a week to a convention, so they hadn’t seen each other for two weeks when they met up again, and he was an artist; which meant he had an eye for details.

They were taking place at a restaurant, to have their weekly lunch, when Jacob gave her a thorough glance over. ‘You look different, Mother’ he said cautious.

‘Is that so?’ Clarke said absentmindedly, while her eyes took in the menu she was holding. ‘The asparagus soup looks great’

It was a warm June afternoon, so Clarke contemplated taking a sandwich to cool down instead of something hot, but the soup really did seem delicious, so she ordered an iced water with it. ‘Sorry honey, what did you say earlier?’

‘That you look different, Mother’ Jacob repeated patiently, while folding his hands on the table. ‘I can’t quite put my finger on it, but your face— _changed_ ’

‘Changed?’ Clarke chuckled. ‘Honey, I think you need some new glasses’

‘Funny’ Jacob quipped, and then the conversation changed to Jacob’s convention and, later, to the play Bellamy and Clarke has seen together and the tulips Bellamy had gotten her.

When Clarke got home to an empty apartment, save for the cat, she found herself examining her face in the bathroom mirror. Jacob’s little comment about her “changed face” had left her curious. When her curiosity as to what was different wasn’t cured, she looked at old photographs and sketches of herself, hoping it would make it easier to locate these “changes”.

Clarke’s heart sped up in an alarming speed and her lungs filled with air when she saw a notable change in her face – she’d gotten laugh lines around her eyes. In all her years on earth she’d never gotten wrinkles, or lines, or something else that visibly hinted she was aging.

_How is this possible?_

The thought crossed her mind that she’d gotten the lines because she was happier now than she’d been in the last 5 decades and had laughed more, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different. A few weeks ago Clarke had suffered a week long cold, something very odd, since she hadn’t been under the weather since her car accident in 1952.

And there was the fact that she was physically warm again, ever since she and Bellamy had gotten electrified. She had felt different ever since that night, not only warmer, but also more _alive_. She figured it was because of Bellamy, not because she got struck by lightning again, and maybe it was.

Maybe Bellamy’s love had cured her.

But maybe the second blue thunder bolt had reversed the effects of the first one.

Clarke didn’t dare to hope; this was everything she’d wish for in the past 50 years, but the evidence was there.

‘I’m aging’ she whispered to herself. The words felt foreign on her tongue, surreal, but she said them again. And again. A couple of times more, until she started laughing hysterically and the tears (both happy and sad ones) ran over her cheeks. ‘I’m aging!’

That’s how Bellamy found her – as a complete mess on his bathroom floor. Clarke was grinning widely, but her mascara was dripping down her face. ‘Princess, what’s wrong?’ he asked concerned, and he immediately sat down next to her on the cold tiles and wrapped an arm around her.

Clarke turned to him and held his face, staring into his eyes. ‘I’m aging’ she watched the concern in his brown eyes change into confusion, disbelieve.

‘What?’ he muttered.

Clarke repeated her earlier statement and made her case. The laugh lines, the cold, her being warm, feeling different. ‘I know it’s not much, but I _know_ it Bell. I just know it’

Bellamy grinned. ‘It’s enough’ he promised, tears streaming down his face, as they kissed.

*

They were definitely convinced a month later, just after Octavia’s wedding, when Clarke showed Bellamy a positive pregnancy test.

Convinced, and overjoyed.

*

Clarke was sitting down on their living room floor surrounded by 100 origami swans she made herself (with the help of Jacob) waiting for Bellamy to come home. She’d turned off all the major lights in the room, except for one table lamp, and had lit tealights in the windowsill, so the dark room was lit by a glowing golden light.

Clarke had begun this little surprise for him before she learned they were expecting, but now that they knew they were having a baby, she had no doubt Bellamy was going to propose soon.

Clarke just wanted to beat him to it – she always was competitive.

And she loved Bellamy, like she’d loved no other. Clarke was convinced he deserved a surprise like this, a big romantic gesture, and the biggest reassurance she could give him that she was serious about him (besides from having his child) after all the heartbreak and uncertainty she’d given him.

Clarke sat up straight, excited, when she heard Bellamy put in his key into the keyhole and open their door. He would be welcomed by a trail of origami swans that led to a pool of paper swans, where she was sitting in the middle of.

‘Princess, I’m ho—‘ he cut himself off. ‘What’s this?’ she heard him ask, surprised.

Then suddenly he walked into the room, and he stood still when he saw her. _Finally_. It felt like Clarke had waited forever for this moment.

Bellamy gave her a brilliant smile. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Why don’t you come here and find out?’

‘Okay..’ Bellamy replied, a little confused, but he did as she suggested.

He sat down in front of her and Clarke began the speech that had been waiting for weeks to roll of her tongue. ‘I’ve wondered for 50 years why I didn’t age and I always thought it was the price I had to pay for staying with Jacob, and it hurt, because for the longest part of those years I was an absent parent. And that was my worst fear; not being there for my son.. But not aging hurt even more after we fell in love, because I couldn’t remember a time in my 90 years where I was this loved and happy’ Clarke took Bellamy’s hands in hers and softly squeezed them. His eyes were meeting hers and were filled with understanding and love.

‘First, I could only promise you a couple of years, but now I can promise you a lifetime’ Clarke continued. ‘A lifetime filled with family, laughter, love, happiness, and some stupid fights. I love you, Bellamy, and I would take another 30 years of loneliness in a heartbeat if it meant I got the chance to grow old with you. Bellamy Bradbury Blake, will you marry me?’

‘Yes, Princess’ he answered resolute, grinning broadly and his brown orbs were swimming in unshed tears, highlighting the golden flecks. Bellamy enveloped his strong arms around her form and pulled her body against his own. Clarke’s arms wrapped around his neck on their own account and their lips locked into their first kiss as an engaged couple.

When the kiss ended, they pulled back for air, but remained wrapped up in one another to savour the moment. ‘I have something for you’ Clarke whispered in a hoarse voice, when she untangled herself. She reached for a box behind her on the floor, and opened it for Bellamy.

The box contained a silver pocket watch that shone brightly. It was an old family heirloom from the Griffin side of her family and Clarke had always kept it close; it was one of her few belongings that had moved with her all around the world. Originally the watch would go to Jacob, but her son readily agreed when Clarke suggested she would give it to Bellamy. She really did have the most amazing son.

‘I wanted to give you an engagement ring, but I couldn’t find one I liked enough, so I’m giving you an engagement present instead’ Clarke explained. ‘It was my father’s pocket watch, and it belonged to my grandfather and his father before that. Jacob and I want you to have it now’

Bellamy’s fingers carefully touched the watch and he seemed captivated by the silver accessory. ‘Clarke, it’s gorgeous’ he gulped and his Adam’s apple bobbed. ‘Are you sure you two want _me_ to have it?’ he asked, unsure, eyes moving over her face.   

‘Of course’ she answered, certain. ‘I love you, Jacob loves you, and soon we’ll be family’

‘I love you, too’ he kissed her lips. ‘And our baby, and Jacob. I’ve never been this happy, Clarke’ he gave her a joyful and loving smile. ‘I have something for you as well’

‘Really?’ Clarke asked, surprised.

Bellamy conjured a small, red velvet box out of his coat pocket, and Clarke sucked in a breath. ‘It arrived today at the jewellery store and I picked it up on my way home. I had this big proposal planned tomorrow, with dinner and a carriage ride through Central Park, but you kind of stole my thunder here’ Clarke chuckled and apologised. ‘Don’t even pretend to be sorry, Princess’

‘Well, I am now’ she smiled. ‘A _carriage ride_ , Bellamy’

‘Through Central Park’ he added smug. Bellamy opened the ring box and a two carat diamond engagement ring caught Clarke’s attention. ‘ _Wow_ , Bellamy..’

He slipped the ring around her left ring finger and held onto her hand. ‘We can still take that carriage ride tomorrow. Or the day after that, or in 10 years, or twenty..’ his voice trailed off and she looked up at him. ‘Because we now have our entire lives. Together’

‘Together’ she agreed, and her lips found his again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Yes, here's another aesthetic](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/post/151022900722/age-is-just-a-number-when-time-is) ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This took way more of my time than I intended it to, but if you enoyed it, it will be worth it :) - and I hope you'll let me know if you did! :) 
> 
> If you're on tumblr as well, let's be friends. I'm [fieldsofpoppyflowers](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/). xx


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